CHAPTER 1
Rani
I jolted from the nightmare at the feel of damp sand between my toes. The coarse grains dug into tender skin, and I backpedaled so hard I fell, sending the rest of the godforsaken stuff up in the air. Buried up to my wrists and elbows, my legs were now covered, and a helpful breeze deposited even more in my hair.
The full moon shone down like a spotlight, forcing me to see the never-ending shoreline and the angry waves that broke against it. The tide came in again, dancing just out of reach, but my panic kept me frozen where I fell. My chest was a tight knot. Salt and death sat heavy on the back of my tongue, choking me from the inside with the memory of its taste.
Breathe, dammit.
No air made its way past my clenched teeth or clogged nose. The conjured water rose higher, past my knees, my chest, my neck. Trapped like bait on a line, the current pulled me deeper into its embrace. One breath and it would all be over. My body and mind fought for the truth, because it wasn’t a figment of my imagination that caused my lungs to swell until bursting. Thatdeep dark was real. That frozen pressure on my skin and the burn in my eyes… my body was only reacting to the environment it was forced into.
But that wasthen.
My mind knew we weren’t there anymore, still, I struggled to get past the feel of sand between my fingers and the scent of brine forcing its way down my throat. I couldn’t take. A fucking. Breath.
Did the deflated bags hiding behind my ribs not get the memo? We were safe now. On land. I could breathe again… right? Bruised knuckles clutched at my chest, my neck, and just those small movements were enough to send me right back into the spiral. It was all this fuckingwetsand. And the waves. The water was too close…
I rubbed at my wrists and rolled my shoulders, testing. They moved freely, which I could see for myself, but it did nothing to stop the memories. The rough hands holding me down and binding me with rope. The calm that came over me when I saw our destination, only for it to morph into terror when the water closed in. The cold. The darkness.
Fuck, I needed to get a hold of myself. My throat tightened, making my next breath more like a wheeze. Eyes clenched shut, I focused on small truths.
I wasn’t kidnapped. I was dry. The path off the beach was right behind me, like it always was.
This wasn’t my fault.
My sleepwalking was a nightly thing, unfortunately. The first couple instances I woke when I was still on campus, but each time got worse as my subconscious sought out the tide. How much longer until I woke underwater?
My body reacted violently at the thought. Stomach clenching, I threw myself to the side in time to be sick. There wasn’t much to come up, what with my lack of appetite lately. I wiped mymouth on the back of my hand and glanced around to make sure no one saw. There wasn’t another soul here but me, and the watching moon. Well, fuck her too. A couple scoops of sand were enough to cover my mess, hiding the evidence of my weakness along with the proof from last night. And the night before that…
Despite wanting to be as far from here as possible, I found myself drawn to this spot. Something lured me here, hooking into my mind when it was defenseless in sleep. I had an idea of what it was, but I actively triednotto think about it.
This was all kinds of messed up. I wanted to be a Marine Biologist, dammit.
How was I supposed to fulfill my dreams with this new aversion to all things aquatic? My favorite place in the world wasn’t anymore. It was taken from me, along with my sense of peace. My sense ofself.
“Fuck!” I shouted, anger rising in place of the fear I lived with daily. “Fuckingfuck!” I screamed and slammed my fist into the sand.
It felt good to hit something that caused me such grief. The pain radiating through my knuckles told me I’d added to the bruises, but it was addictive. It wasn’tmethat hurt each time I made contact. It washer. The girl who moved in and made herself comfortable in my skin. The bitch who was drawn to things that could hurt me. Thathadhurt me. Changed me.
This new version of Rani was jumpy and wary. Angry. She didn’t trust, and she didn’t laugh. Things that once brought her joy now smothered her. And the separation from the things that made mememeant I had to learn how to function as this stranger.
Finally in control of my limbs, I stood and brushed as much sand from my body as I could, but it still clung to my feet and clothes, and other places I couldn’t reach. Nothing could free mebesides a shower, and that was another problem to face. Later. I had to get back to the dorm first.
At least it was summer. My sleep boxers and oversized shirt were just enough against the late breeze.
“Rani.”
Whipping around, hands in fists, ready to fight, I met the worried eyes of my best friend, Eryn. Well, roommate. Was she still my best friend if I wasn’t the same person?
“It happened again, huh?” She said it with a half-smile, but it didn’t lighten the blow. When I didn’t respond, her smile slipped, and she nodded to the brick path. It led across campus and was the route I’d planned to take back to Midnight Hall. “I’ll walk you back.”
It appeared a friendly gesture, but I knew it for what it was. Hovering. Guarding. Her actions told the truths she didn’t speak.
“You said it was safe now,” I growled, accusingly, and pushed past her.
Her sandals scuffed as she spun to catch up with me. “It is!” she swore. “Kai says the djinn are too busy dealing with the mess Kol made to worry about us right now.”
Her hand landed on my arm in an offer of comfort, but I flinched away from it. Too busy fighting off another panic attack. Those men from my nightmares were djinn—a supernatural race I hadn’t even known existed until a couple of days before they grabbed me. Magick, vampires, witches,djinn. They were all very real, and while that hadn’t bothered me at first, I knew better now.
