‘My anxiety is through the roof!’ Mimi bellows, clearly at the end of her tether. She is breathing very rapidly. She will breathe herself into a panic attack if she is not careful.
‘Look at me,’ I say firmly. I reach out to hold her by the arms. ‘You have to control your breathing. The air is thin. You need to take deep calm breaths. They will send the right signals to your brain that you are okay, and everything is fine.’
Mimi looks scared to death. She shakes her head, ‘But it’s not fine. We are miles beneath the ground with tons of heavy rock above us. We are lost because we have been walking for hours and the instructor has no idea where we are going!’
The atmosphere suddenly shifts up a notch to major panic mode.
‘Is that true?’ cries Amber.
We could all do with some reassurance around now, but the instructor is slow to react. It serves as a tipping point. Mimi starts convulsing.
‘I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I’m going to die. And it’s all my fault. I wanted to come on this stupid programme to find love. But now I’m going to die instead. Crushed to death in this horrible orange boilersuit. The last thing I’ll ever get to wear,’ she sobs. ‘It’s hideous. I’m so embarrassed.’
‘Look at me, Mimi. Look at me. Keep looking at me.’
She tries to focus on my face, her eyes wild with fright. I make a snap decision not to tell her that the colour of her boilersuit should be the least of her worries because I hear a hissing sound that is definitely not a tyre deflating.
‘Breathe,’ I say, taking a deep breath in myself. ‘In… and… out. In and … out.’
The islanders gather around us, and we all start breathing slowly together until Mimi gets her breath under control.
The instructor holds out a flask of strong-smelling coffee. ‘Have this. Calm you down.’ He passes around six cups and gently pours a dark-coloured substance into each one. Steam rises with each pour, and we take it gratefully. We huddle together around a big torch that reflects off the rock to make the cavern even eerier than before. The slightest movement causes shadows to dance around the formations.
We sip the coffee. It’s very sour-tasting and bitter but it seems to have an immediate soothing effect on all of us.
Carlton copies Giovanni and puts his arm around Mimi. He gives her what looks like a genuine smile. He catches me looking, and to my surprise, smiles at me too. I’m pleased he has stopped being so angry with me. Maybe it was seeing Mimi in that ludicrously sexy negligée last night that has changed his mind about her propensity to moan on and her near-psychotic tendencies.
‘Ah,’ says the instructor, shining the light towards the cavern wall. ‘There it is.’
We gaze at the rock in awe. There are paintings and markings. They are thousands of years old.
‘That’s the best thing I’ve ever seen,’ whispers Amber.
We are quick to agree. They are magnificent.
‘It’s like those stick men are talking to me,’ adds Giovanni, his eyes like saucers. ‘Can you hear them?’
We listen to the breeze whispering to us. The images seem to be moving as the torchlight dances around.
I feel lightheaded. I sniff the coffee. ‘What’s in this coffee? I ask the instructor.
He shrugs.
‘Whatever it is, it’s got me as high as the Eiffel Tower,’ laughs Henri, holding his cup out for a top up.
Oh, my God. No wonder we’ve all calmed down.
‘I need a wee,’ Mimi says, sagging against Carlton. ‘I feel faint. I’m seeing things. I’m seeing ghosts all over the place. And those eggs are repeating on me. Where’s the nearest toilet?’ Her high-pitched squeak ricochets off every surface.
A voice comes from the darkness. ‘If you need the toilet, you’ll have to go back to the surface.’
My nerves are on end because I could have sworn that was Cam’s voice. This drink is more potent than I thought. I nearly spit it out as he comes into view. He steps out from behind one of the camera crew who I’d totally forgotten were following stealthily behind in silence. My jaw is on the floor as they all start begging to go back to the surface with Mimi. Suddenly, all of the islanders need the toilet.
Like a drill sergeant, I listen to Cam bark orders to the crew, instructing the guide to take us all back to the surface by the quickest route possible. There’s a huge cheer which causes some rubble to fall around us.
‘Yes,’ says the guide lowering his voice. ‘We go now. Before the ghosts come back.’
As we make our way back along the pitch-black tunnels, I fall back so that I can walk with Cam. He has instructed the crew to switch off the cameras, pack them into the bags and buddy theislanders to make sure we get to the surface before the shaft falls down around our ears.
