This deflates the mood even more.
While one of them starts to unload what looks like enough rope to circumnavigate the Earth at least twice, the other explains that his forty years as a search and rescue team leader makes him the ideal expert for a mission like this.
‘I’m not going down there,’ says Mimi, looking from the rings of rope to the dark entrance to the mineshaft. ‘Oh my God! What was that?’
‘What was what?’ shrieks Amber.
‘That,’ Mimi yells. ‘I saw a shadow. A ghost!’
‘That’s it. I’m not going in either. I hate the dark,’ says Amber. ‘I can’t deal with it. I just can’t.’
Both girls look genuinely terrified.
As I look at the boys and camera crew, it is very clear that no one is looking forward to this activity. I can’t believe I’m about to do this, but someone is going to have to do a pep talk about facing your fear and the great benefits that result from personal challenge.
‘Erm, listen,’ I get off to a shaky start. It’s difficult to find what the potential benefits might be of exploring a haunted mineshaft that looks about to collapse around us the moment we step foot inside. ‘I’m sure it’s perfectly safe. Come on, guys. We’ve got this. We can do it.’
‘Yes, it is safe,’ says the expert. ‘This is why we have fitted each of you with an extra harness in case of a fall. You havea headlight in your helmets in case of power failure from the generator. You have no oxygen but try not to breathe heavily when you are down there. Take some spare rope as there are lots of unexplored shafts. Do not go in them or you might not come out. Always watch where you put your feet in case of snakes. And you have flares in case communications fail with the above ground team.’
I notice he is not wearing a harness himself. ‘Are you coming down with us?’ I ask hopefully.
‘Jesus, no. Definitely not.’
‘So, one of you will stay up here and only one of you will go down the mine with us?’ I need clarity because I can feel my blood pressure getting high.
‘No.’
This causes everyone to start looking at each other in panic. Even the camera crew start mumbling about not getting paid enough.
‘We have a man down there already,’ he says quickly changing his tune. ‘He’s a good man,’ he adds, as though we are all worrying over nothing. ‘He will secure the wooden beams and clear the rubble so that you can enter the forbidden chamber.’ He crosses himself three times as though he is doing something ungodly. He shouts down the shaft and after it echoes a number of times, somebody eventually answers. It sounds very far down.
Oh, my word. This is not good.
‘Ready?’ he says.
‘Was that our safety briefing?’ I ask, shocked. ‘Who has done the risk assessment on this? Who is designated first aider? Who has the emergency comms device? Is there a GPS tracker on all of our suits? Where is the designated meeting point, both below ground and above ground, should any of us get lost? What is the procedure in the event of a medical emergency?’
Everyone is staring at me in a hopeful manner. Perhaps we can avoid going down on health and safety grounds. However, the instructors look as though they are willing me to shut the fudge up. I am making everyone more nervous. And for the sake of great television and a big financial payout for the potholing experts, we must go down this hole in the ground.
‘Ready?’ he asks again. We all nod glumly. ‘Let’s go.’
After what can only be described as an appalling descent, involving Mimi breaking not one but two of her Shellac nails, Henri almost plunging to his death, Amber screaming all the way down and Giovanni bursting into tears, we all reach the bottom in one piece and set off to find the ancient Mayan relics that none of us give a single shit about.
‘It feels like we have been walking for hours,’ complains Mimi. ‘It’s dark and wet and horrible. And it’s freezing down here. What’s romantic about this?’
‘It feels like we have been listening to your whinge-fest for hours too,’ says Carlton sounding fed up.
We are deep within the mine and can barely make each other out. We are wearing thick padded gloves as the rock surface is jagged and slimy to touch in places where water is dripping down. Every few minutes, the instructor demands that we each call out our names by way of regular head count. Giovanni, recovered from the initial shock, has already played a practical joke on us and didn’t say his name which caused mass-fretting. Our nerves are wound tight to snapping.
‘We stop here to admire early Mayan digging tools,’ says the instructor as we emerge into a poorly lit cavern.
Amber sniffs up tears behind me. She has been quietly crying since we set off. Giovanni is quick to comfort her. In the dimlight, he puts a reassuring arm around her shoulders and hugs her in close. ‘I’ve got you.’
It’s very sweet.
‘I wish someone had me,’ moans Mimi, looking at Carlton. He has been stuck to Henri like glue, ever since Henri said he recently served for eight years in the French Territorial Army. At least we all feel a little safer. ‘Oh my God, I’m going to die down here! I’m going to die, aren’t I?’ she suddenly shrieks.
‘We’re almost there. Air very thin,’ says the instructor, sniffing the air loudly. He’s almost invisible to us.
