‘Who?’ they all ask together.
Amber sighs. ‘Aren’t any of you paying any attention? My one is the French guy. Henri pronounced On-ree. He’s quite cute really. Although I’m definitely open if anyone asks because he seems to be hanging out with Marcel more than me. I think he might be gay.’
‘Who?’ I join in with them. I know full-well who everyone is. I studied hard before I came to the villa, thanks to Cam, but it’s essential that I don’t give the game away.
Soon, we are all standing on a padded bouncy plastic platform, girls versus boys for the High School Drop Out Challenge. There’s a huge scoreboard off to the side. A seat is hanging over a large dunking pool full of water. There is a board with school subjects written on it. They range from Psychology to English to Domestic Science. I breathe a quiet sigh of relief. I might just be not so rubbish at this after all. I will stay quiet though because really, all of this is way out of my comfort zone. The heat issweltering down on us and I’m already feeling queasy from the lack of sleep and all the stress of sneaking around to see Cam.
‘Libby, you have to be our team captain,’ says Kassy, looking at the girls who are all nodding.
‘Thank you,’ I say, genuinely quite moved at their vote of confidence. ‘But honestly, I’m happy to stay quietly in the background feeding you answers. Helping with spellings. Keeping up team morale, more of a facilitator, that kind of thing. One of you should be captain.’
It’s as though I didn’t say anything. They all start squealing and jumping up and down, their tiny skirts flapping up to expose their tiny thong underwear. Their shirts lift up to reveal more than just a peek of under boob. The men’s eyes are like dinner plates.
‘Libby is team captain, and she is going to kick your asses!’ Amber yells over to the men excitedly.
‘Hell yeah,’ joins in Mimi. ‘She’s a goddam mother-fuckin' teacher, that’s right!’
I feel my eyes almost popping out of their sockets.
Please someone make them stop.
‘She’ll take you all to church, cocksuckers!’ Binky, who has been as quiet as a mouse this whole time has suddenly chosen now to become a loud, foul-mouthed quiz monster.
‘Question one for the team captains,’ shouts out Carlton as he removes the card from the first subject on the board ‘Sex Education’. As the alpha 'male' he is designated quiz master. ‘How many sex positions can you get your team to demonstrate? You have thirty seconds?’
Fudging hell.
‘Thirty seconds isn’t very long…’ I say stalling for time. The girls quickly start wrestling each other to the ground.
‘Libby! Yell the position, and we’ll do it!’
‘Erm, missionary,’ I say. I’m deeply uncomfortable with being put on the spot. The girls fling each other into position. The boys seem to be hurling each other around like rag dolls. I can barely make out what Henri is saying in his thick French accent. ‘Erm, cowgirl.’ I have no idea what that means but I’ve heard of it.
They wait for my next instruction.
‘Erm, the one where… you’re upside down?’
‘No, name the sex position. Hurry!’
‘Back to front? Would that be the Mirror Image?’ I say, grasping at straws.
The buzzer sounds and the girls are not happy.
‘How can you not know more than two sex positions?’ Mimi yells loudly just as the buzzer stops.
I am mortified.
‘The Boys have 14 and the girls have 2! The boys are the winners!’ shouts Carlton. While the boys are leaping up and down, the girls swoop towards me for answers.
‘Well, I erm… I haven’t erm… it’s not something that’s really come up…’ My cheeks are on fire. My sex life with Arrogant Josh was fairly non-existent on account of me wanting to get to know him more before I committed.
‘Oh. My. God,’ says Kassy. ‘You’ve never…?’
‘But you’re old,’ says Binky. ‘How old are you?’
‘I’m twenty-six. And I’ve been busy, okay? There’s no shame in not being sexually adventurous.’
‘There is, hun. There totally is.’
