I inwardly sigh. My heart is taken. This is futile but we are on camera, and while I know Cam is watching, I’d hate for people across America to think I’m not giving Giovanni a fair chance.
‘Sure. Great. Lovely.’ I slap on a smile. ‘So, Giovanni, tell me, what’s your plan after this show?’
He stops mid-press-up to answer. ‘Oh, I have such a cool plan. I want to be rich and successful. And settled with the woman of my dreams. I’m so ready for marriage and kids.’
‘Good for you. Raising a family is expensive. Rich and successful in what?’
‘Who knows? I’m just going to go where the wind takes me, I guess, and see where I end up.’
‘That’s not really a plan.’
He resumes his workout. ‘Well, I’ll just go with the flow.’
‘No, still not a plan.’
‘Well, I’ll just see what unfolds, you know?’
‘Nope, not a plan either.’
What is he not getting?
He continues his press-ups. The heat is building as the sun beats down on us. Sweat is pouring off him as though I’m hosing him down like a beached whale.
‘I’ll just, like, drift on the wind, bro. See where I land.’
That is basically a repeat of his first sentence. We are simply going round in endless circles.
I could be trapped in this godawful cycle for hours. I plonk the weights down with an audible groan.
‘Okay. Giovanni, I think you might have an underactive amygdala. It’s stopping you from worrying about things. Anyway, good chat. See you later.’
‘So, is that a yes to sleeping in my bed? Porscha kinda said I had to persuade you.’
I glare at him.
‘Oh, did she?’ I swivel round to stare straight into a camera hide. It’s under the ‘Pump me real good’ sign. I noticed the sunlight reflecting off the lens as soon as I looked at it. I put my hands on my hips and go full teacher-mode. ‘Well, perhaps she’d like to come and explain herself then.’
Porscha responds to my battle cry by announcing that we will all be taking part in a game. I know she is trying to have a go at me because it is called High School Drop Out.
‘You’ll be great at this, Libby,’ Amber shrieks excitedly as we climb into a collection of obscene sexy schoolgirl outfits. When we are all ready, we take a group selfie.
I know for a fact that the giant mirror taking up the whole wall in the hallway is two-way. I stare directly into it as we pose. Mimi is doing vertical splits while hanging onto my shoulder and Amber is doing a doggy-style hump sort of thing to Binky on my other side. Her blue hair looks great against the big pink bubble gum bubble she is blowing. Kassy is doing lying down splits with me stood folding my arms unimpressed in the middle.
‘This is a bit seventies, isn’t it?’ I say to the mirror. ‘A bit sexist? A bit on the cusp as far as grooming goes?’ I point to our obscenely short, pleated skirts, swinging up our backsides. We are wearing stockings and suspenders, skimpy shirts that only reach the bottom of our boobs and miniature ties. We all have our hair in pigtails. We look sexy as hell, but that is beside the point.
‘I’ve got a good vibe with Marco but I’m going to cover my options until I’ve got all the feels,’ announces Kassy, adjusting her skirt to make it even shorter.
‘Good 'cos I’m doing Carlton but only to make Giovanni jealous. Does everyone get that?’
We all nod obediently.
‘Who is Marco? Have I missed someone new coming in?’ I ask.
‘She means Marcel,’ Amber corrects.
‘I’m stuck with the tall one,’ says Binky. She’s barely said a word since we’ve been here. ‘I have no idea what he’s called.’
‘It’s Brad, hun. BRAD,’ Amber says. ‘And I suppose I’ll get to know Henri.’
