Ah, now well… I think you are gorgeous, that’s what I think.
Oliver politely pretends not to notice that I have been so easily distracted from the important task of sorting out my business affairs, to which we both remember me pledging, only moments ago, to give my complete and full attention. He probably has a photographic memory and can recall the tiniest of details about what people say and about every aspect of the law, which he will know everything about of course. While I’ve been busy dreaming of licking Oliver’s thighs, and thinking of inventive ways to entertain him.
He stands up and stretches, giving me a cheeky glimpse of a bare, flat stomach. He is a wondrous specimen of masculinity and I am behaving shamefully, even by my own low standards.
‘Well, that’s all I can do for today,’ he says leaning across to kiss me. ‘See you tomorrow?’
I nod enthusiastically, not trusting myself to speak as I watch him walk away.
I. AM. SMITTEN.
Chapter 38
‘Itfeelslikeyesterdaythat we were being hurled around in that campervan,’ Oliver says as he drives me in his incredibly fancy car, up through the forests towards the retreat. ‘I’m a bit nervous about seeing Endless Cloud and Starbeam Night Sky, are you?’
I nod, not looking forward to it one little bit. ‘I owe them a proper apology for being such a hot mess. I hope they forgive us and agree to do the event.’ I glance over my shoulder to the peace offering Oliver and I picked up for them. Wine, cheese and a bunch of dried sage tied neatly with a ribbon and little card saying ‘sorry’.
‘I was as bad as you,’ Oliver says. ‘Maybe we should come back here for a few days. I hear they do a resentment cleanse.’ Oliver does a mock-chortle.
He is referring to his board of wankers. It has not been a clean break and may be ongoing for some time.
‘Don’t worry. I’ll help you resolve those issues and build your new company into something you can feel really proud of,’ I reassure him.
‘Looking forward to it.’ He turns to give me a grateful smile. ‘Sorry, I might not make the coach trip tomorrow. I’m needed to sign papers in Madrid.’ He looks genuinely gutted. ‘So, tell me all about this app idea of yours.’
Oh dear.He has opened the floodgates.
‘It’s a new life-coaching service aimed at bite-sized sessions for people who want a healthier existence either at work or in their personal lives. The app will keep clients on track, keep them inspired and also to make it super easy to book another session, either online or face to face,’ I gush while he’s navigating the hairpin bends. ‘We’ve called itThe Law of Attraction – how to get everything you want.’
‘I’m feeling the Law of Attraction right now,’ Oliver says, swinging in through the retreat gates, causing the temperature in the car to rise substantially.
‘Do please behave professionally,’ I reprimand jokily, as we walk to reception with the gift bags. ‘After all, they don’t know we are a cup… erm, I mean acquaintences in a professional capacity.’
Gaaah!I almost said a couple. I stop myself in time. I’d hate for Oliver to think I’m jumping ahead. After all, he did once refer to us as ‘fooling around’.
Oliver’s smile leaves his face as he gently takes my hand. ‘I’m sorry I ever referred to us as fooling around. I panicked. I wanted to see you, and I came over as obnoxious.’
‘Oh, thank God for that,’ I say, grinning. ‘You were beginning to become unbearably perfect.’
Oliver’s eyes widen with mischief. It’s as though I can’t say a single thing without arousing him. I have never felt more desirable in my life. It’s thrilling. He leans down to kiss me, slowly sliding his lips over mine. It has the effect of a sugar-rush and has me tingling from top to toe.
‘Aah, vee knew you two vud be couple. Lovely couple,’ Endless Cloud greets us, floating with open arms over to where we are standing.
‘Yah, favourite naughty couple,’ agrees Gandalf, wafting in through the patio doors. ‘Feel zee energies. Beautiful energies you have. Powerful aura.’
I am somewhat taken aback as to why they are not annoyed with me.
‘Anger doesn’t solve anyzing but it can destroy everyzing,’ Gandalf says, reading my mind. ‘Now come. Vee are werry excited to do this event tomorrow. But first, vot are your thoughts on doing a communal scream ven your clients arrive? Then vee do group psychic handshake.’
They both look stoned off their tits.
The following day, I spot Boring Berry cowering alone in the far corner of the office, having turned up two hours early, and cannot resist. I go over, grabbing Juniper on route.
‘Juniper, I’d like you to meet Berry. Juniper, Berry. Berry, Juniper.’
Honestly, if that’s not a match made in Heaven what is?
I leave them after a few moments when they latch on to beetroot as a secure topic of conversation, and make my way, meeting and greeting across the room.
