I think I owe you an explanation.
Damn right she does. Anything to help me understand how she was able to simply pack up and leave without so much as a fucking goodbye. She cut me out of her life like I was never even there to begin with. Hasn’t called or visited since. Zero communication. I thought I was over her betrayal. It turns out that when it comes to Teresa Davidson, I can really hold a grudge.
The intensity of my anger surprises me, and I struggle to keep my expression impassive as I allow myself a moment to take her in. I can’t deny that she’s turned into a beautiful woman, with her soulful eyes and a mass of dark, silky hair that frames her heart-shaped face.
I have the sudden urge to reach out and rub the strands between my fingertips to find out if it still feels as soft as I remember. To lift it to my nose to see if it smells like that addictive mix of sunshine and coconuts that still haunts my dreams.
Tessa has always been gorgeous, but she’s positively stunning now. Seeing her again, after all this time, would be a whole lot easier had she grown a couple of hairy moles or even a unibrow. Of course, her skin is flawless. Not a blemish in sight. I notice she’s not as slender as she used to be. Her breasts seem larger, her hips a little wider, and her ass a lot rounder. She’s filled out in all the right places, turning her into a voluptuous goddess of a woman, and I want to sink my goddamn teeth into her. Bad. At the same time, I want to grab her, shake her, demand answers, and make sure she hurts the way I did when she left me behind. I want to rip her cold, dead heart from her chest, drop it to the ground, and grind my heel into it until there’s nothing left. And I want to pull her against my chest, close the distance, and kiss her until we both run out of breath. The conflicting emotions fighting for dominance inside my head irritate me. How dare she show up here after all this time and make me—feel?
“Jake?”
I startle at the sound of her voice and force myself to meet her gaze.
“Do you think we could talk? Five minutes is all I ask.” Her hopeful expression reminds me so much of the sweet and caring girl I once knew, and I almost give in. But I’ve had seven years to stew in my anger. To harden my heart and rebuild my walls, brick by painful brick. Still, all it takes for her to shake my rock-solid foundation is one look from those beseeching chocolate eyes. The fact that she still holds so much power over me pisses me off beyond reason. I grind my teeth so hard my jaw aches, but I do my best to find that inner calm I learned to draw on whenever I feel myself slipping.
“If you think you can explain your actions and take away years of resentment in a matter of minutes, you’re delusional.”
Tessa flinches at my cruel tone, and I hate that I’m the cause of her pain as much as I revel in it. That girl utterly destroyed me, and it’s taken me a long damn time to put the pieces back together. I refuse to give her what she needs to ease her guilty conscience.
“We have to start somewhere. Just give me a chance to explain myself, and I’m willing to do the same.”
My eyes widen, disbelief stamped all over my features.
“You’re kidding, right? Correct me if I’m wrong, but last time I checked,youwere the one who abandonedme. You didn’t even give me time to wrap my head around what you’d done before you rode off into the sunset, never to be seen or heard from again.”
“Just let me come in for a minute,” she pleads. “We owe it to ourselves to have this conversation.”
“I don’t owe you a damn thing,” I snap in a burst of red-hot anger. I feel the blood heat in my veins and struggle to keep my temper in check, something I haven’t experienced in a while. The feeling is as foreign as it is familiar and leaves me slightly unsettled.Breathe, Jake. Just breathe.
“I may have owed you back in the day when I foolishly believed you loved me as much as I loved you,” I grit out once I trust myself enough to speak. “But the second you ran for the hills and tore my world apart, leaving me with a fuckload of unanswered questions, you lost my respect and any lingering affection I may have still held for you. For months, I jumped every time the damn phone rang. Like a pathetic fool, I moped around the house, waiting for you to contact me. I mean, God. I would’ve been happy with a text to let me know you’re still alive, but you couldn’t even bother to give me that much. Do you have any idea what that did to me?”
There’s no hiding the fact that her silence cut me deep, and I drag a hand down my face in a desperate attempt to regain control. I need her off my porch and out of my life. I need her to get into her car, drive her ass back to theairport and return home, so I can keep pretending I live in a world where Teresa Davidson doesn’t exist. But I know that’s not happening anytime soon.
There are no secrets in a town this size. Of course I heard about her mother’s cancer diagnosis, and I feel for Tessa. I really do. But the fact that she came back to support her family, and not because she finally grew a backbone and wants to make things right between us, rankles.
“You sure that’s the story you want to go with? You sitting around all sad and heartbroken, just waiting for me to return? I’d think long and hard about whether you want to stick with that or if you might want to try for the truth this time. We owe each other that much, at the very least.”
I rear back and uncross my arms, drawing myself up to my full height before saying, “What the ever-loving fuck is that supposed to mean?” Where the hell does she get off calling me a liar? I’m so enraged I almost pop a blood vessel. I’m gearing up for things to get ugly when footsteps at my back take the wind out of my sails. It takes everything in me, but I force a smile to my face before I turn toward the approaching figure. I was so blindsided by Tessa’s surprise visit, I almost forgot about my late-night guest.
“Everything okay here?”
“Everything’s fine, sweetheart,” I drawl in a nonchalant voice that hides my inner turmoil. “Just catching up with an old friend of mine. Teresa and I knew each other back in high school,” I explain, and feel like an ass for withholding the fact that I once considered this girl to be the love of my life.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Alicia,” the woman at my side introduces herself, pressing into me possessively while she holds a hand out in offering. Tessa stands frozen, eyes pinballing between me and my date as if she’s unable to understand the meaning of her presence. Finally, she snaps out of her daze and steps forward to grasp the offered limb.
“I didn’t know Jake had company. Now I feel terrible for not even considering that I might be intruding. I was just in the neighborhood, so Istopped by on a whim.”
“And it’s been a blast, but we were just about to have a late supper, so if you wouldn’t mind,” I say, urging her to leave before things can turn more awkward. For a moment, I think Tessa might ignore my silent plea. I can easily picture her pushing past me as she invites herself to dinner to chaperone my damn date. The jealous glint in her amber eyes doesn’t go unnoticed, and my traitorous heart gives a happy little thump at the sight.
The immature part of me wants to smirk and rub it in her face that I sure as hell haven’t lived like a monk these past few years. I didn’t so much as look at another girl for about a year after Tessa left. But when my self-imposed celibacy did nothing to lift my spirits, I proceeded to screw women left and right in a desperate attempt to get over the one I couldn’t have. When that also got me nowhere, leaving me feeling numb and a little dirty, I turned my focus to work.
Alicia is the first woman who genuinely piqued my interest. She’s also the first woman I seriously considered having a relationship with since Tessa and I split. And the second I decide it’s time to take a risk and open myself up again, the bane of my existence blows back into my life like a goddamn hurricane and confuses the shit out of me. But then again, her timing has always been impeccable.
“Of course,” Tessa mumbles, pasting on a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “You two enjoy your evening. I guess I’ll be seeing you around,” she adds as an afterthought before she all but runs back to the safety of her vehicle. I watch her climb into the driver’s seat and wait until she’s peeled away from the curb before I sling an arm around Alicia’s shoulders and lead her back into the house.
Things had gotten rather heated before the doorbell so rudely interrupted us. By the way she is gazing up at me now, it’s obvious she doesn’t mind picking up where we left off.
I was all in earlier, eager to spend the evening losing myself in her willing body. Now, the only thing I can think of is the mind-blowing way Tessa and I exploded whenever we came together back in the day. We were so damn young. Sofucking naïve. Bursting with passion and unable to hold back in our innocence and lack of control.
