“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t feel like you’re up for it.” Stacie reached out and squeezed her hand. “Just know that I’m here for whatever you want to tell me. When and if you want to tell me.”
Maddy sighed. “It’s nothing that serious. I was kind of pushed onto the street, and I tripped and almost fell in front of a car. Thankfully, this guy sort of shielded me from the worse and the car stopped in time. So, I’m just a bit battered.” She knew she was leaving out practically everything, and she could tell from Stacie’s expression that she knew there were things Maddy wasn’t telling her.
It wasn’t because she didn’t want to. But how could she tell her friend that she’d somehow relived 6 weeks of her life in high-school where she’d found someone she never wanted to lose and then lost him anyway? Even the sanest person would look at her as if she had lost her damn mind. She still wasn’t convinced she actually hadn’t.
“So,” Stacie’s voice interrupted her thoughts, “you mean that you’ve been a walking zombie since yesterday just because of that? And I’m not saying in any way that that’s not important, because it is! It’s just that you look... I don’t know, devastated, Maddy.”
Maddy lowered her gaze to the blanket in her lap, feeling her eyes begin to sting. She hated feeling so raw, so exposed. But her friend was only trying to help and Maddy was grateful. “Well, you’re going to think it’s stupid.”
Stacie squeezed her hand even harder, Maddy only now realizing that she hadn’t let it go. “I would never consider stupid anything you have to tell me,” she said fiercely, her tone adamant.
Maddy nodded, a weak smile tipping the corners of her lips. “Well, the guy that tried to push me out of the way and help me wasn’t a stranger. I actually knew him. We’d been sort of friends briefly in high-school and there might have been even something more there.” She paused, unable to add any more details. “He didn’t remember me,” she finished dully.
“Excuse me?” Stacie’s sharp tone made Maddy snap her eyes back to hers. “He didn’t remember you? How is that possible?”
Maddy shrugged. “I don’t know. I suppose I didn’t make a long-lasting impression.” She knew she wasn’t being fair, and nothing was probably Nate’s fault but it still hurt like a raging bitch.
The one thing she’d always hated was realizing that she’d been unimportant and replaceable by those she’d cared about. Eventually, when something happened enough times, it was easy to start believing it was true. It had taken her some time but Maddy knew who she was. And she knew that she couldn’t control how people acted. She could just be herself and do what felt right.
“Bullshit,” Stacie spit out. “I call bullshit. And more importantly, what’s this guy’s name and why have I not heard about him until today?”
Maddy couldn’t help the dry laugh that escaped her. Well, honestly, Stacie couldn’t have heard about him since, technically, not even Maddy had truly known him before yesterday. Or last month. God, all this back and forth was giving her whiplash. Which was not helping her headache at all. “His name is Nate and it was just a few weeks thing back when I was sixteen. It just didn’t come up.”
“Hm,” her friend murmured, looking at her suspiciously.
“Anyway,” Maddy said, trying to change the subject. “What’s going on at work?”
Thankfully, Stacie didn’t call her out on it.
“You didn’t miss anything. As I told you earlier Josh and Nick were the first to know about your accident, —honestly, those two gossip more than my grandmas and aunts combined who never stop pestering me about when I’m going to get married.” She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, everyone’s sending their get-well wishes. Oh, and they’re already plotting a welcome-back surprise thingy that you did not hear from me. But I know you hate surprises, so—consider yourself warned.”
Her expression softened. “I’m glad you’re okay, my little hermit. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Maddy gave her the first genuine smile in the last couple of days. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, you social weirdo. Who’s gonna pull the brakes on you when you run yourself to the ground trying to fit as many coffee dates with friends and acquaintances as possible to your already packed schedule?”
Stacie half-sighed, half-laughed. “I know, I know you’re right. But you know me, I can’t really stay put for too long.”
“I know, it must be killing you to be sitting around so much right now. I bet your fingers are itching to grab your phone and call someone.”
“Now see, I could deny it, but I’ve never been a lying liar who lied,” Stacie snickered.
And for just a few moments, Maddy could pretend that all was well and there wasn’t a gaping hole in her chest that throbbed in time with her heartbeat.
***
“I think I hate my flat a little bit.”
A few days had passed, and Maddy was slowly starting to feel better.
Which was a lie of course but if she said it many times to herself then eventually, she would believe it. Maybe.
She’d resumed work. She’d gone back to her everyday life. She was back to being a responsible adult. And misery was her company.
“Oh no.” Stacie’s voice carried over from the kitchen.
Okay, maybe misery wasn’t her only company.
“Is this one of those things, like after a big break-up, where you have to do something dramatic, like get a makeover, cut your hair or dye it something you’d probably never do under normal circumstances?” Her blonde head along with the rest of her appeared, carrying a plate of cut fruit and a glass of water. She sat next to Maddy, joining her on the couch where Maddy had been staring at the four walls of her living room.
