He tensed in my arms at my compliment, and reality came rushing back. Avoiding eye contact, Jack pulled out of my grip and turned to undo the metal latches and enter the trailer.
I cleared my throat. “What made you want to do this today?”
Jack shrugged as he pulled the end of Neva’s lead rope to release the knot and led her out of the trailer. “I don’t know. Didn’t have much going on today, so I thought I’d treat them to a Neva visit.”
I shuddered out a breath and tried to shake the uneasy feeling that returned the moment he shut back down. Normally, Jack would notice this behavior and ask if anything was wrong, but he distracted himself with Neva.
“Can you help me put this thing on? I tried to do it at home, but she kept shaking her head when I stretched the elastic around her nose.”
The frustration in his voice arrived as quickly as I approached him and the horse. I scratched Neva’s forehead with pressure on my middle three fingers and gently traced the divot of her nasal bone. Drawing light circles across the pink snip on her upper lip, I raised my eyes to make contact with hers. “Hey, girl. You have someveryspecial fans today who would really like to see you with a unicorn horn, so I’m going to need you to let us put this on you.”
“If you have this much patience with the horses, I can only imagine how you’re going to be with the baby,” Jack breathed uncomfortably. The dichotomy of his words and his tone threw me. I didn’t miss how he called them “the baby,” and not “ourlittle fruit,” which he had taken to calling them a few months ago. God, all I wanted was to figure out what was wrong.
Jack led Neva to the arena, where Lina encouraged the girls to follow each other while they hit the big arena ball. His actions felt so black and white, and I was lost in the sea of gray in between. I trudged behind the pair, focusing on Neva’s strong, thick hindquarters. She was an appendix, a cross between a Quarter Horse and a Thoroughbred, giving her the speed and stamina of a racehorse and the strength and agility of a barrel horse. Her hind legs moved in sync with Jack’s as they approached the big wooden gate of the arena.
“Oh my gosh! Look, girls!” Lina gasped in fake surprise and pointed to Jack and Neva. Neva’s ears perked up when she heard Lina’s voice. I swore she spoke horse.
Both girls gasped when they saw the flea-bitten gray with the sparkly unicorn horn on her head. When Jack opened the gate, Neva’s persona did a one-eighty. She strutted into the arena like she owned it, her head held high, her ears pointed forward, and she picked up her feet like a dressage horse. The girls’ eyes lit up, and both their jaws dropped.
“Oh. My. Horsie!” Kellie beamed. “Josie, look! It’s a real unicorn, just like Mr. Jack said he would show us!”
Josie’s face glowed as she urged her horse to approach Neva. She spoke in utter disbelief. “It’s…it’s a real unicorn?” She looked ready to slide off her horse and take Neva to play with her horse toys at home.
“It sure is,” Jack smiled with pride. “I promised I would show her to you. And I heard it was someone’s birthday,” he eyed Lina with a smirk, “So I had to come introduce you to her.”
“What’s her name again?” Kellie asked. “And can I ride her?”
Jack glanced at Lina again with his eyebrows raised. I wasn’t sure he brought any tack, and Neva wasn’t prone to stopping without a strong bit in her mouth.
“I don’t think this unicorn is tamed,” Jack chuckled. “But maybe one day.”
“One day I’m going to be a good enough rider to ride a unicorn.” Kellie showed no disappointment, only glee that her unicorn wish came true.
“Me too,” Josie replied. “This is just so exciting. Happy birthday, Kellie!” She giggled.
“Happy birthday to me!” Kellie laughed along with her sister.
It was little moments like this that made me feel so lucky I was going to be a mom.
I couldn’t wait to show our little fruit Neva the Unicor
Chapter thirty-two
Jack
As soon as I got home and put Neva back into her stall, I rushed inside to call my dad. I didn’t know what it was, but something about those little girls just hit me in the gut. I wasn’t ready to be a fucking father. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I could be a good husband. Not with this gut-wrenching fear that Maggie was going to leave me. I saw the twinkle in her eye when she watched the girls’ faces light up. She wanted this so bad. Despite how unprepared and stressed she felt when she first found out about the pregnancy, she was more ready than most mothers I had ever seen—specifically, my own. Fear rushed through me at the idea that I was going to turn out like my mother. At whether or not I would become like her or fall victim to being forgotten again. Like the idea of parenting was too grounding, and I might flee without a backward glance.
I had to think, was she happy? Did she love this life of going wherever, whenever she pleased? Did she regret leaving her son behind? Her husband? Was I going to end up the same way?
I couldn’t. Not with Maggie. I loved her too much to leave her alone, especially with our baby. Our little fruit.
“Hello. Jack?” My dad’s muffled voice floated through the speaker. It sounded like he was riding a horse.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, boy!” Enthusiasm filled his tone. “How’s my favorite father-to-be?” I internally groaned. My dad had found out about the baby only a few months ago, and ever since, he had raved about it nonstop during our phone calls.
I cut straight to the point. “Have you heard from Mom?”
