“Hey! I’m older than you!” Josie stuck her tongue out, and her sister giggled in response. It was adorable watching them banter back and forth. The way Kellie would subtly mimic her sister’s movements and occasionally throw in a phrase that Josie often used, the way Josie always peeked at her sister for a laugh or a smile in response to something. They bounced off each other likesunlight, acting as best friends would. It wasn’t envy that filled me seeing them interact with each other, but it created a void that I so desperately wanted to fill with my own family. My child deserved the family I never had. A constant mother and father. A sibling. Family dinners. Laughter, sobriety, and positivity that radiated through our home. It had to be that way. They deserved nothing less.
After helping the girls tack up their horses, we headed into the arena. Today was only their seventh or eighth lesson with mallets, so they were still learning technique and their saddle positions while they swung at the ball. We hadn’t used an outdoor ball yet since we were practicing in a sand arena—and because it was much smaller than the arena ball, which looked similar to a miniature soccer ball—but the girls were really improving. Their small figures helped them to maneuver quickly, and they had gained more confidence with their riding skills. Their favorite horses were Hamlet and Paloma, the horses I taught them on during our first lesson together.
“Okay, let’s warm up our horses before we start swinging the mallet!” I called while shutting the gate to the arena. Kellie, who rode Hamlet, passed me in a whoosh at the trot. Her petite figure displayed a perfect position on the horse: heels down, toes forward, hand quiet, and shoulders back. I smiled at her confidence. She was the cutest little thing, looking almost identical to her older sister, and always offered a smile to whoever passed by. Pride surged through me at seeing their impressive progress in just a few months.
“Good job, girls! You both look amazing.” My hands moved to my lower back as I leaned backward to take some pressure off my back. “Let’s make a couple of circles to make sure our horses aren’t stiff or sore anywhere, then we can start some practice swings.”
The girls did as I said and turned their horses inward, using their left hands to steer with their double reins. With new students, I fell into the rhythm of using the analogy of the reins being used like a joystick. Forward, left, right, and back were the only directions you needed to move them. I found it simplified the process for people who had never ridden a horse before.
Just as I started the girls with practice swings, Lina appeared at the arena gate and waved me over. “Let’s just stick and ball for a few minutes, girls, then we can work on some drills and technique.” I walked—more like waddled in that deep sand with my belly bump—to the gate to greet Lina. “Hey, what’s up?”
She looked concerned, an expression she seldom displayed, and she shifted uncomfortably. “Can you do me a huge favor? Actually, it’d be killing two birds with one stone.”
I raised my eyebrows. Clearly, I wouldn’t be getting the whole story at this time, but hopefully, she’d confide in me later, so I could make sure everything was okay. “Of course. What do you need me to do?”
She sighed in relief. “By chance, could I take this lesson from you? You’d still get the money for it, but I’m sort of…avoiding someone right now.” She stammered the last few words, causing my suspicions to rise further. Lina must have noticed, because she continued. “Also, Jack just showed up at the barn with the trailer, and he says he needs your help.”
My stomach dropped. It was the first time I felt nervous to see Jack since the night I found out about my pregnancy. I disliked the returning feeling. Why was he here? Didn’t he have young green horses to train? Weren’t there more important things he needed to tend to instead of visiting me at the barn in the middle of the workday? “Oh…uh, sure. Do you know why Jack’s here?”
It was Lina’s turn to raise her eyebrows. “Is everything okay with you guys?”
Of course, I could fake an entire marriage and baby conception story to my closest friend at the club, but I couldn’t hide my feelings when it came to my uncertainty with Jack. Was I really that obvious?
“Yeah…” I started, glancing back at the girls hitting the ball around the arena. They were contesting who could hit their ball further. I turned back to Lina. “It’s just…I don’t know. He was acting distant last night, and I’m not sure how to handle it.”
“He’s got a bit of a past, right? I heard a couple of things about him from girls who have played here.”
I shrugged. “I guess so. We don’t really bring it up, since that phase of his life is over.”
“I’m sorry, Maggie. Honestly, it sounds like we both could use some girl time. Want to come over tonight? I know you can’t drink, but I can make you a cute little mocktail with an umbrella.
Spending time unloading everything in my head and being a stand-in therapist for her sounded like a breath of fresh air. I needed friends more than anything now, because when the baby came, I knew I would be stuck in the newborn bubble. “Lina, that’s exactly what I need. Oh, mygod, do I need to get out of the house.”
Lina tossed her head back and laughed. “Sounds like a date, then. Meet me at my place at eight?”
“Perfect.” I smiled and pointed a finger. “But, you have to tell me who you’re avoiding.”
“Ugh.” She rolled her eyes and chuckled uncomfortably. “Deal.”
“Well, have fun. The girls look a little competitive today, so you might have to put them in a little one-on-one.”
“Sounds like a plan!” Lina’s perky instructor voice flipped on as she entered the arena with a huge smile. “Okay, girls, listen up!”
A wave of warmth swelled through me at having a friend like Lina. We’d gotten close in the months that I had been working at the barn. She was a great listener and a loyal friend. I loved that we could come to each other when we needed to debrief and help each other. I didn’t have many close girlfriends at my club at home. It was mostly just my polo family I was friendly with, but hardly confided in. Jack was one of the first people I could genuinely open up to who understood my passion for polo. It was what made us fit together so well.
Speak of the devil, shiny blonde hair was the first thing that caught my eye as I made my way toward the barn. My heart thumped in my chest at the sight of him. It felt like I was walking toward a stranger—someone I knew so well, but a lifetime had passed us by.
“Hey, you.” A grand smile brightened his face, a complete contrast from last night. “I have a surprise.” He slapped the side of the trailer with his left arm, his right propped on his hip. Trying to peer through the metal crevices, I noticed only one horse occupied the twelve-horse trailer. It was Neva, Jack’s flea-bitten gray, looking alarmed and confused.
I eyed Jack curiously, then the horse. “What’s going on?”
The gleam in his eye told me this was no ordinary visit to my barn with a horse in tow. Jack had a plan, and even though I still dwelled on the night before, I was entranced by him. He opened the back door of the truck to pull out a hard plastic cone with an elastic attached to it. Shutting the door, he motioned for me to follow him to the back of the trailer. As I got closer to Jack, I made out the oblong object in his hand. It was aunicorn hornwith pink, white, and purple stripes swirling to the sparkly tip.
“Oh, my God. What are you up to?”
Jack chuckled and shook his head. “Remember when we promised the girls we would show them Neva the Real Live Unicorn? Well, today is that day.”
The air left my lungs for a moment. Because Jack brought a fucking unicorn to please these little girls. Why did I have any doubts in my mind that he would betray me in any way? Before he could open the trailer doors to bring Neva out, I pulled Jack into a hug, wrapping my arms around his neck. “You are too good to me.”
