A small gasp left her mouth as her eyes danced with emotion. Which one, I couldn’t be sure, but it was something. Somethingreal. She succumbed to my touch and rested the weight of her head in my hands. “Me, too. I didn’t know who you were before any of this, but I appreciate you so damn much, Jack Hennicke.”
Tears pricked in her eyes.
I held her tighter.
“I appreciate you more than you know. I’m so lucky to have you as the mother of our child.”
For a moment, I wished we were using a different word. I didn’t just appreciate her. I felt so much more.
She shuddered with her next breath, and we shifted so my back was against the couch and she was nuzzled into my chest. My thumb rubbed the spot between her shoulder and neck. If it weren’t for this moment, I might not have said what I said next.
“I’m terrified of commitment, Mags, but hell, I want to do this.”
Everything about my past, my mother, my anxieties felt entirely less significant with this woman. I never thought I could provide stability. I never thought I could satisfy Maggie in the doting, domestic way I felt she needed. But I wanted totry. I wanted to love her through all of the qualms and fallouts.
Maggie opened her eyes and looked up to meet mine. “What?”
“Let’s be together. Let’s do it for real.”
The look on her face told me immediately that I had said something equally as deadly as jumping into a sea of fire. Her hands pushed her body away from my chest so she could face me. “Jack, that’s part of a bigger conversation. We agreed to be just friends. We can’t risk anything going sour with this baby.”
“Maggie, we’re going to be a family. Whether we like it or not, we’re stuck together for the rest of our lives. What if we work? How incredible would that be?” My hand touched her stomach, where our little pomegranate was growing.
“But what if wedon’t?” She glanced away uncomfortably before meeting my eyes. “Everything about my parents’ marriage went to hell. It was awful seeing that fall apart. I haven’t seen my mom since I was nine years old. I’m not going to do that to my kid, Jack. I promisedneverto get married.”
My mind raced to find a response that didn’t insult her. She promised she would never get married. And now, it was all I wanted her to want.
“I–”I love you.
Fuck, I couldn’t say that. It was so early. She was terrified of me. Of us. Of what we could be. But what could I say? I was sick of faking this to everyone else. I didn’t want to lie to Maggie about this, too.
She waited for a response, fear still scrawled across her face.
“I just want what’s best for our child,” I whispered.
Her hands found mine again. “Of course you do. I know for a fact that’s what we both want. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’re going to do everything to be the best father you can, but wecan’tscrew this up. Fuck, Jack, wecan’t.” The tears reappeared in her eyes.
“Okay, it’s okay.” I cupped her face again. “Then we won’t.”
My heart sank into my stomach.
We won’t.
Chapter twenty-three
Maggie
Icould barely open my eyes when my ringtone blared into my peaceful sleep. Shoving the covers over my head, I reached around my nightstand to turn off the irritating noise. It was a struggle to find it with my eyes still closed, but when I finally brought it close enough to my face, I recognized my father’s profile photo lighting up the phone. Groggily, I swiped the screen to answer it.
“Hello?”
“My, my, Maggie! How’s it going out in Wyoming, baby girl? I miss you,” a familiar voice chirped over the phone. I glanced at the time. It was five-thirty, mountain time, but it was past seven in Pennsylvania.
“Hi, Dad! Everything is going really great over here. Jack is winning almost all his tournaments, and I got a second job as a riding instructor.”
My dad blew out a gush of air. “Honey, that sounds great. Are you enjoying it out there?”
I nodded with a smile before remembering he couldn’t see me. “Yes, Dad. I love it.” A punch of guilt hit when I rememberedI still hadn’t informed my father that I was now fake-married…and pregnant. I was lucky that no polo gossip had come across the Forrest Hills Polo Club yet. Mine or Jack’s dad knew zilch about our arrangement and our…condition. “And Jack and I are getting to be great friends.”
