“Shush. It grows on you.” Luca pops a square in his own mouth before looking back at Finn. “Hey…do you think I’m an idiot?”
Finn frowns, caught off guard. “What? No.”
Luca gives him a small, knowing smile. “You’ve always helped me. You’ve never made me feel like I should be embarrassed. You’ve helped me deal with some of the hardest things. So, please let me help you. Please.”
Finn hesitates, then, almost too quietly, asks, “Can you hug me?”
As if Luca wouldn’t have walked across the broken glass to do just that.
“I’ve just been waiting for you to ask, baby. Come here.”
Finn gently dislodges Tsuki and crawls over—careful to avoid the mess—until he’s leaning against the cupboards with Luca’s arms wrapped around him. He slouches down so he can rest his head on Luca’s shoulder, breathing deeply against his neck.
“Can smell him here,” Finn murmurs, fresh tears slipping free.
It’s not panic anymore, but Luca understands the weight of it. Sometimes, knowing you’re not alone in your emotions only makes them more overwhelming.
“It’s okay, Finn. We’ll do this together. You can always come to me, or I’ll find you, okay? I love you. Love you so much.”
Luca lets a few of his own tears fall, letting his love for Finn overflow. It feels good to love him so much, even when it hurts.
“I’m tired, Luc,” Finn sighs, using that blue towel to wipe his nose and eyes.
“I know. Do you want to lie with me in my room? Me and Tsuki would love the company.” Luca doesn’t want to risk going back to the nest and waking someone up.
“I don’t think I can sleep.”
Luca knows the irony well—I’m mentally exhausted, but I can’t sleep.
“Oh.” He isn’t ready to let Finn go just yet; the come-down from a panic attack always leaves him adrift.
“If you don’t want to come to my room, that’s okay. I know it’s messy. Maybe we could lie on the—”
“Do you want to lie in my bed with me? I just need to be in my space. Would that be okay?” Finn asks, as if Luca might refuse the invitation of a lifetime.
Lie in Finn’s cozy Zen space? Sign him up.
“Fuck, yes!” He grabs Finn’s hand and tries to pull him toward the library and the spiral staircase there. He loves that thing.
“Luca! The glass. Fuck. Let’s clean this up. Go let Tsuki out. It’ll take me a minute. I’ll be right there…”
It takes five minutes for Finn and Tsuki to finish with their business, and Luca finds her a treat for being such a smart girl.
Finn leads the way through the dark library to the staircase that winds up to his space. It’s dark and cool, the scent of black currant and vanilla strong even here.
Turning on a soft, glowy lamp and Finn holds the covers back so Luca can climb in.
He tries to be cool about it, but his own scent is all over the place with excitement. He’s never once slept in here in the year they’ve been in the house.
Tsuki jumps on the bed and curls up behind his knees.
Finn smiles a bit, and once they’re situated, he grabs a book off the bedside table.
“You go to sleep. I’m going to read this.”
It looks like it’d put anyone with a brain to sleep in under a minute, but Finn will probably findSleisenger and Fordtran’s Gastrointestinal and Liver Disease in Weres: Pathophysiology, Diagnosis, and Managementriveting.
Luca loves him anyway—even if his taste in books is horrible.
