“What? Who the fuck put that stipulation in place?”
Fucking Dante! I’ll kill him.
“I’m not at liberty to say, but it is standard procedure when therapy could be used as evidence in a potential court case.”
“Well, isn’t that just fucking peachy?” I snapped, folding my arms. Of course, doctor “Call me Ashleigh”, kept her composure. She remained sitting straight, one leg crossed over the other, a notepad resting on her knee.
“How about we begin with your relationship with Mr King? Is there anything there you’d like to discuss?”
Where would I even begin?
“You could try from the beginning,” she smiled gently, as though she could read my thoughts.
I sighed heavily. “It’s easier said than done. I don’t even know what our beginning is. Do I go from the day he kidnapped me? The day I stopped fighting and let my guard down, which signalled the start of our relationship to me? Or do I start with now, our new beginning?”
“You can start wherever you’re comfortable. Would you prefer to start from the day you originally met?”
“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I’m not trying to be difficult, Ashleigh. I just don’t know where to begin.”
“How about your current relationship status? Let’s leave the past in the past for a second. Do you see this as your new beginning?”
“In all honesty? No, I don’t. I feel like it’s hard to begin something new, when everything feels fake,” I admitted, surprising even myself.
“What about it feels fake?”
“All of it,” I said with a fake laugh. “How can we begin when everything we do is because of the contract? What sort of start is that to a relationship? How can I trust that he’s being genuine with me, or if he’s playing his role to perfection, because he wants to come out of the next six months as the winner?”
“Is that what you believe?” She asked in the same soft voice. “Or is it what youwantto believe?”
“Why would I want to believe that?” I scowled.
“Self-preservation. Sometimes it’s easier to force someone into the role of being a villain. When we do that, it makes it easier to stay closed off, and protect our hearts.”
“I don’t think I do that,” I lied, knowing full well we both knew I was full of shit.
“So, what do you believe?” She asked again.
“I honestly don’t know. Sometimes I think he’s genuine. I see the look in his eyes, and I think to myself, how could anyone fake that? How could anyone show such emotion in their fuckingeyes,of all places? But then sometimes, I’ll think back to everything he’s done so far, and I realise nothing is impossible when it comes to Dante.”
“But the contract has not always been in place. Can you honestly say every interaction you’ve had with him is fake?”
I didn’t answer as I cast my mind back to the past. I remembered him saying how I consumed him. How he begged me to touch him. How he said I haunted his every waking thought and every sleepless night. I remembered when he told me that the ball was in my court. How he whispered he loved me. How, despite himself, he found himself drawn to me. He could never stay away for long.
I remembered the battles he fought to keep me safe. The fights on my behalf.
I suddenly remembered a lot of things. Things I had been blind to, because I was angry, or I was hurt, or… Whatever. I had been so caught up in my own feelings, that I hadn’t seen what was right in front of me. I had put myself first and hadn’t allowed Dante a second of reprieve.
Was he a bad man? Yes. Had he hurt me a lot? Also, yes. But there were also a lot of fucking instances where he did whatever he could to protect me, without hesitating for a second.
Was I the one sabotaging things with how stubborn and hard-headed I was being?
“Rachel?” the doc asked, bringing my attention back to the room. I blinked at her, and she smiled once more.
“Forget my last question. Let me ask you this—how do you feel about him?”
I puffed my cheeks out as I expelled a breath. How could I even begin to answer that? “I don’t know. And I don’t want to think about it.”
“Why is that, Rachel?”
