“Hang in there, darling,” I whisper, holding her tighter as I carry her to the car.
25
RUDRAKSH
I pace the corridor restlessly while the doctors are inside checking on her. "What's taking them so long?" I mutter, more to myself than anyone else.
"Bhai, stop it. She's going to be fine," Aarav says, trying to calm me down.I am anything but that.
He's right. Me walking back and forth like a madman isn’t going to help. But I can’t sit still either. I need to know if she’s okay. I need answers. The door finally opens, and I rush towards the doctor, Aarav right behind me. "When was the last time she had a proper meal?" the doctor asks, looking at me.
"This afternoon. She said she had lunch with my family," I reply quickly, desperate to understand what's wrong.
Aarav places a hand on my shoulder, grabbing my attention, and I glance at him. "No, she didn’t. She told Badi Maa she’d eat with you since you both were going to the mall. I heard her myself," he informs, urgency clear in his voice.
What?
The doctor sighs. "Well, it seems she hasn’t eaten properly in days. You really need to pay attention to your wife, Mr. Malhotra." His voice carries clear disappointment. "There’snothing to worry about. We’re putting her on a glucose drip. She’ll be discharged by tonight. But going forward, make sure she eats. I don’t think I need to explain why food is important." With that, he walks away.
His words sting like a slap. She hasn’t eaten properly in days? How could I not know that? Come to think of it, I haven’t actually seen her eat. Not once.
I turn to Aarav. "You can go home. I’ll handle things from here," I say firmly.
He nods reluctantly and heads towards the elevator.
"And Aarav," I call after him, "don’t tell anyone."
I need to know why she did this. Why did she think starving herself was the solution? Why? The rage inside me is simmering—unexplainable and uncontrollable. But it’s not directed at her. It’s at me. At the fact that she stayed up every single night just to eat with me, just so I wouldn’t feel alone, and I didn’t even notice whether she had a single bite herself.
I slam my fist into the wall, the pain grounding me. No, Rudraksh, you can’t lose it now. You need to talk to her.Calmly. Even if that’s the last thing you feel right now.
I push open the door to her room. She’s lying on the bed, facing the window, but I know she’s awake. I can tell from the way her breath catches the moment I enter.
"Shivani." She doesn’t look at me.
"The doctor said you fainted because you haven’t eaten in days," I tell her, keeping my voice even. I’m guessing he already informed her, but I need to hear it from her.
She does nothing and stays silent.
I pull a chair closer to her bed and sit, waiting. Waiting for an answer, watching her avoid me. But I can’t let it go. I need to understand what she was thinking.
"Why, Shivani?" I ask quietly, my voice almost on the edge of cracking. Why? Nobody made me feel like that, like I am breaking. But when my eyes travel to her pale body, I feel nothing but pain.
"I’m sorry," she whispers, voice breaking. Her eyes are not meeting mine.
I take her hand gently and stroke her palm. "That’s not the answer, baby. I need to know why."
She says nothing. Just sobs silently. Not being able to see her breaking, I stand and sit beside her on the bed, pulling her into a hug. She finally turns towards me and buries herself in my chest, her tears soaking my shirt.
In twenty-nine years of my life, I’ve never felt this helpless, this worthless. My heart aches for her, and a sickening weight settles in my chest. How did things get to this point without me noticing? I rub her back slowly, hoping to give her a little comfort. When her sobs finally quiet down, I lift her chin gently so she’s looking at me.
"Shivani," I whisper, "please talk to me. Tell me why you didn’t eat."
She hides her face in my chest again, as if ashamed; her hands cover her face.
"I… I had gained weight," she confesses so softly I almost don’t hear it.
My heart sinks. She skipped meals because she thought she had gained weight.
