"Shivani…" I call her name, stunned. I lift her face again, needing to see her eyes. "You stopped eating because of that? Why would you even think like that?"
She keeps her eyes shut tight, lips trembling, and her arms wrapped around herself. "I thought… you wouldn’t like it. If I get fat." I freeze as I hear her words; my breathing ceases. "And I am already so fat," she adds, her face twisting in pain.
She thinks I won’t like her if she gains weight? I should’ve known. I did know she was self-conscious. But I never imagined it ran this deep.
"I’m sorry," I whisper, feeling something in me break. "I’m sorry I shouted earlier. It’s just…" I sigh, trying to put it into words. I take her hand again, holding it tightly. "Baby, you’re beautiful. Always have been. The world will always have opinions." I wipe a tear from her cheek and tuck her hair behind her ear. "But what matters is how you see yourself. What you believe about yourself. This world is always going to try to put you down, always. But I promise you, I will never be one of those people." She leans into the warmth of my palm as I caress her cheek.
"I’m always going to be here, no matter what," I assure, my voice firm and steady. "And just so you know, I’ll always like you, Shivani. Whether you’re thin or fat, tall or short—I don’t care. You’re beautiful to me. Inside and out."
I touch my forehead to hers, our breaths mingling in the small space between us.
"I’m sorry," she whispers after a beat. "I’m so sorry." She whispers again.
"No," I say gently, "it’s not your fault. But I need to know who put that thought in your head."
"No one," She quickly denies and shakes her head, still not meeting my eyes. Her nervousness is obvious by the way she twists her wedding ring like she’s trying to undo a memory.
I reach for her hand again, my grip firm but soft. "You know I hate lies, Shivani."
Her eyes shoot up to mine, full of fear. "Promise me you won’t do anything," she pleads.
"Yes," I lie without hesitation.
She hesitates, then finally speaks, "My mother. She said I had gained weight… and that you might not find me attractive anymore if I didn’t lose some. But she didn’t mean any harm; she just wants the best for me. Please don’t be angry. It’s not her fault."
Oh, my sweet, naive wife. You think she meant no harm. But harm was done. And I won’t forget it. Itisher fault.
And she’s going to pay for it.
26
SHIVANI
I’m embarrassed.
I don’t know how I’ll face everyone. What will they think—that I am a liar? I’m still awkward around Rudraksh—but he’s not. He never once shut me down. In fact, he told me I was beautiful. He thinks I’m beautiful.
Tears sting my eyes. He also said he likes me—not a full-blown confession, but it slipped out, maybe. I know what I did was wrong, but I don’t regret it. My heart skips a beat as I remember his words:
‘I will always like you, Shivani. Whether you’re thin, fat, tall, or short—I don’t care. You’re beautiful, inside and out.’
The car comes to a halt, jerking me out of my thoughts. The driver steps out and opens the door for Rudraksh, but his eyes are on me. He doesn’t move. Instead, he instructs the driver to give us some privacy.
“Shivani?” he says gently.
I don’t know. I don’t want to go in. I don’t want people to think I’m weak. I know I am—I just don’t want to see it in their eyes. This is the only place I’ve ever felt loved. Like I mattered.Like my opinions meant something. And now, I don’t want their sympathy.
“Darling, what is it?” He asks, holding my hand to stop me from fidgeting.
“What will they think about me?” I ask quietly.
He rubs his thumb across my palm. “What did I explain to you? You don’t need to think about what others say, okay?”
But that’s not possible for me. I’m not as strong as him. “They’re not just others… they’re your family.”
He doesn’t speak for a moment. Then he lifts my chin gently.
“Our family, Shivani. Our family. Right?” He says, his voice soft but steady.
