Page 48 of Jordan
"Hello Julesa." She did not offer her hand or a kiss on the cheek, both would have been insincere and out of place. "How have you been?"
Settling on the chair, Julesa draped her tote over the arm before responding. "Well, thank you."
"I took the liberty of ordering the apple and cucumber salad. They make the best here."
Tamping down the resentment at being handled, Julesa nodded and reached for her water. Freshly baked rolls were already displayed in a basket, with a dish of churned butter next to it. She had spent a restless night contemplating the meeting and was not going to sit and take BS from this woman. Jacquline Wainwright was going to discover that she was not the same poor little girl she had refused to have inside her house.
Their meal arrived promptly and was served by the owner herself, a buxom woman with quiet auburn hair, streaked through liberally with gray, her designer suit draping her body to perfection. After politely asking if there was anything more they needed, she retreated and left them to their meal.
"Maude has been with this place for the past twenty years," Jacquline began as she delicately sifted through her salad. "A very enterprising woman with a gift for being creative. How's your salad?"
"Delicious as you predicted. Now why don't you tell me why I'm here?"
She was about to tell the girl that it was impolite to have a discussion while they were eating, but decided it was not the time nor the place. And she was prevaricating – something she never did.
Jacquline took a deep breath, pushing away the unease that gnawed at her insides. She had rehearsed this moment a thousand times in her mind, but now, faced with Julesa's poised demeanor and penetrating gaze, she felt the weight of every unsaid word pressing down on her.
"I imagine you have many questions," Jacquline began, her voice steady despite the flutter in her chest. "And I owe you answers. But first, I want you to know that your presence here today means more to me than you can possibly understand."
Julesa's expression softened ever so slightly, though the guarded look remained in her eyes. "Go on."
"For years, I've carried the burden of my actions, and the regret that followed. I was wrong to shut you out, to treat you as less than you deserved. You have every right to be angry with me, and I would not blame you if you chose to walk away now."
Jacquline paused, allowing the weight of her words to settle. The delicate aroma of the surrounding roses seemed to mingle with the tension between them, creating a palpable atmosphere of anticipation.
"I'm not here to walk away, Jacquline," Julesa replied, her tone firm but not unkind. "I'm here to understand. To hear the truth from you, no matter how painful it might be."
Jacquline nodded, feeling a flicker of hope. "Then let me start by saying I'm sorry. Truly and deeply sorry for all the hurt I caused."
One tapered brow lifted. "You think it's that simple? Do you apologize and that's it? We go on from there? And why are you apologizing anyway? I would think that sort of thing would be beneath you."
Keeping her expression carefully neutral, the older woman took a sip of water to ease the dryness of her throat. "I have my reasons."
"Let me guess, you're afraid of losing your son. I had no idea you cared."
Her mouth tightened at that. "You will understand what it's like to carry a child and want what's best for that child."
"So, let me get this straight, you want what's best for them so much, you decide to take away their free will and the choice they would make by choosing for them. In other words, you don't trust them to make the right decision." She shrugged slender shoulders. "That's not parenting. I have never birthed a child, but there's no way in hell it's right to control them like that."
The woman's eyes flashed and for a second, Julesa thought she was about to lose control, but ingrained breeding and years of keeping her emotions curbed came to the fore. Instead of responding, the woman picked up her glass of water and took some delicate sips as if measuring her response.
"You will discover soon enough how difficult it is to be a mother."
"I don't follow."
Jacquline gave her a quizzical look. "My son said you were with child."
"Oh that." Julesa waved a hand and laughed softly. "Turns out it was a false alarm."
A faint flush tainted the white skin as the woman stared at her. "You're not pregnant?"
"Not since the last time I checked. We've been sexually active, so chances are, I just might be."
"He specifically told me--"
"What you wanted to hear." Leaning forward, she met the woman's stony gaze. "And I wanted to rub it in your face that the black woman, daughter of your former maid was now part of the family." Mahogany eyes flashed. "I am still traumatized by the way you spoke to me that afternoon. How you told my mother to put me in the damn barn." Easing back, she took a breath and then another. "But--" She waved a dismissive hand. "It's all in the past now."
"Is it?" Jacquline felt shame, for the first time in her life. Having it flung in her face was like a backhanded slap. Normally, it would not have affected her this much, but ever since her diagnosis, she was faced with her mortality. And she had to make amends.
