My mind was preoccupied with how to explain my thoughts, so I just nodded in response. How did one bring up something as awkward as a slave bond?
“Well, goodnight, then.” She let go of me and started toward her door.
I grabbed her arm. “Wait, Callista. Please.” I slid my hand down to hold hers, a desperate attempt to delay the words that had not organized themselves in my mind yet.
She froze, almost too still.
I dropped her hand. “I… need totalk to you.”
She turned back to look at me, concern etching in between her eyes. “Is something wrong?”
“No, I… Actually, yes. Yes, something is wrong.” That was as good a way to begin as any. “I will not hurt you, Callista, not now, not ever.” I took a step closer to her. “I would do everything in my power to keep you safe.”
A small smile turned her lips up, just barely touching her eyes. “I believe you. But I don’t see how that’s something wrong.”
“Because you are here specifically as collateral. Your entire presence is based on the idea that I will…” I couldn’t say it. It was so gross that it turned my stomach. The elf I was a few weeks ago made me sick.
I shook my head. “I want to free you from our agreement. I don’t care if your brother comes and burns down my roses. You will be safe from me and anything or anyone I can protect you from.”
She blinked, and tears rushed the edges of her eyes, but a flood of happiness spilled into the bond. She brought a hand to cover her trembling lips. “Thank you,” she whispered into her fingers. “That means more to me than I think you can possibly know.”
My heart lunged for those tears. I hated to see her cry, and it seemed like such a conflict with the feelings I could identify in the bond. I stepped even closer, and dried her cheeks with my thumbs, brushing the back of her hand—still over her mouth—with my palm.
“There’s more,” I whispered. “The mistek bond is a corruption of magic. Bonds between elves are meant to be beautiful, shared experiences. Twisting the magic into a bond of submission is wrong.”
She sniffed. “But you haven’t made me submit at all. Ever. Notonce. You must have an enormous amount of control of your magic, because even in your bossiest moments you never used any magic to force me to do anything.”
A soft, disgusted grunt escaped me. “An honorable beast, huh?”
A deep, small chuckle lodged in her throat. “It would seem.”
I shook my head slowly, brushing another rogue tear off one of her cheeks. “It’s not enough. I would like to remove the bond entirely. Will you let me put my hand on your back?”
She stepped away from me, pressing her back to the door. My hands fell away from her face, and she shook her head quickly.
“Why? I—” I had stepped closer to her without thinking and reached for her face again. She closed her eyes, so I stopped, frozen by her uncertainty. “Why would you not want to be free?”
Her eyes opened, the clear blue crystals covered with a light sheen of moisture. “Your offering means everything,” she whispered, “but… how did you know that I needed help with the karkins on the bridge?”
“I felt your fear.”
“Through the bond?”
I nodded.
“What about when Lady Carmine threatened me?”
I nodded again.
“Or when I was scared on the balcony?”
Another nod.
“Or the very first night when I was frightened in the dungeon?”
My neck burned, but I nodded again. I could tell where she was going with this, and Idid not like it.
“So, you have essentially rescued me at least four times because the bond alerted you to my danger. I don’t want to give that up. I… need you.” My heart sank. I did not want her to need me to be a monster. “Especially if you care enough to keep me safe the way you just promised, I need you to know when I need that help.”
