How was I supposed to become a better elf if she insisted I do horrible things? “So you want me to remain unjust and cruel? I’m sure I can protect you without it.”
She shook her head, but her voice wavered. “You wouldn’t have known I was in trouble before without the bond. It is neither unjust nor cruel if you do not take advantage of its dark possibilities. You are actually showing an even greater kindness by refusing the possibilities that are in front of you. By resisting the bad and using the good.”
My temper roared to life. I stepped closer to her and hissed, “It is a perversion of goodness.”
“It’s your own fault!” she hissed back. I fell back on my heels, and she attacked. Her tiny firehawk nature reared to life. “You made coming here my only choice. The cursed barrier has regrown, so I cannot go home. If you take away the bond now, I’ll have no way to reach out when things go wrong. No option besides screaming and hoping someone within hearing range cares enough to help.”
My heart twisted at that image. No, I could not leave her alone like that.
“If that is what you want,” she added, “fine. You are the king.” She stepped away from the door and closer to me. Very close. Our chests nearly touched, and I could easily reach her back. The air between us charged. I wanted to wrap my arms around her—both to keep her away from dangers and keep her to myself. But I did not have permission for that.
So I stood still, waiting to see what her purpose was. “You are the king,” she repeated, “And I am just a girl who crossed your path—”
I could not ignore that. I gripped her shoulders as carefully as I could with the heat running through my veins. “There is nothingjustabout you.”
“Regardless,” she breathed at me, “your will supersedes mine. You have all the control here. Do what you want. Just know that I would prefer the security of having this connection to you while I am in your land.”
I dropped my hands from her shoulders and stepped backward. “I will never supersede your will simply because I am king.”
“Why not?”
“Because I—” I could not tell her I cared about her. It would be too awkward, too strange. She did not need that complication. But did that omission cross into the deception that I had sworn never to embrace?
I would have to think through that. I settled on, “Because I want you to feel safe. You cannot feel safe if you think I will overrule you anytime we disagree.” That was true.
I lifted a hand toward hers, and she set her fingers on mine. I wrapped my hands around hers, and bowed my head over them. “Forgive my reaction, Callista,” I whispered. “I am trying to control the fires that burn to life so quickly inside me.” I straightened up and returned her hand. “I will, of course, leave the bond if that is your preference.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. And then she turned and fled into her room.
Chapter 21:Callista
What did a firehawk look like? It wasn’t in the one bird book I’d brought with me, and my parents had never talked about them. Of course, Fotab was the one who would have been most interested in them, and he’d only lived in elven kingdoms for a few years.
I squinted into the early pre-dawn light at my window. Winter was passing into spring, and I could see several songbirds—some I knew and some I didn’t—but no hawks. I had seen three different hawks during my time here, but none of them were in my book. Maybe—
A knock on the door to Aedan’s room cut into my thoughts. I grabbed the blue dressing gown and wrapped it around my nightdress before opening the door.
Like always, Aedan looked equally prepared to hold court or fight a battle as he bowed. “Good morning.”
I smiled. His new attempts at being polite, considerate, and kind were so deliberate and so obviouslyforeign to him. I would have thought royal elves would be schooled in polite persuasion, but perhaps ruling had always been more of a statement about power here. And if that was the case, his efforts to embrace a little humanity—or whatever the elves might call it—were even more attractive.
“Good morning,” I answered. “Typically, social visits happen after breakfast.”
“Yes,” he said, “but I’ll be a drekkan at that point, and I’d like to show you something first.” He glanced at my door. “Will you meet me in the hall?”
“Do I have time to get dressed?”
His eyes jumped to my window, and then scanned my clothes. “What you’re wearing seems perfectly decent, but if you’d prefer to change, I’ll wait. Time is short, though, so—”
I started to close the door. “I’ll hurry.”
In less than a minute, I’d dumped the dressing gown and night dress on the bed. I had two simple daygowns that were made from a soft, stretchy material with no buttons. I slipped into the peach-colored one, tied the gauzy laces behind my back, and headed to the door.
As soon as I stepped outside, Aedan’s lips twitched. “You’re coming bare foot?”
“Is that considered immodest here?”
His smile grew. “No, but not something the wealthy usually do.” I slipped my hand around his arm, and his smile broadened even more. “Typically, the nobles like to parade their footwear as signs of their rank and riches.”
