Page 42 of Hide or Die


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“I’m just glad we got there in time,” she said. “You should rest for a bit more, and once you’re ready, we’ll head back to Bucharest. I assume you have pheromone suppressors hidden in your luggage?”

“I do,” I confirmed. “I should be good to go on that front in another couple of hours. Kam and I need to have a serious talk, and I should probably try to eat something else first—assuming there’s something free of both cod liver and fish meatballs. We can leave anytime after that.”

“Very good, ma’am,” Alex said. “I’ll make sure everything’s ready to go whenever you are.”

I nodded acceptance, and tried not to feel Flynn’s eyes on me as I turned and left the room.

* * *

Ifound Kam in thebedroom. The nest had been disassembled—the mattress and bedding back in place on the bed frame; the furniture rearranged. The couch cushions must have been returned to the front room earlier so that Flynn would have something to sleep on other than the bare floor. The lamp, now uncovered, cast harsh yellow light around the room rather than mellow, reassuring red.

Something deep inside me raged at the loss of our ridiculous jury-rigged nest. I shoved that instinct back into its box as well. Respectable beta ambassadors weren’t allowed to have nests. Respectable beta ambassadors didn’tneednests.

Kam sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in slacks and shirtsleeves as he stared at his hands tangled together in his lap. I entered the room and settled next to him, letting my shoulder brush his. He looked up at me from beneath dark lashes—always so beautiful, even with the old sadness shining from his depthless brown eyes.

“Did Flynn talk to you?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said simply.

“He asked you if we’d join his pack?”

I nodded. “So... he talked to you, too.” For some reason, the idea raised a sense of disquiet inside me.

“Yes. There wasn’t a lot to do in the nest except talk—at least when you were resting between peaks.” Kam licked his lips and looked down again. “You told him no, I’m assuming.”

I’d told Flynn everythingexceptno. My unease deepened. “It’s impossible. Too dangerous for us. Too dangerous for them. Beckett might be some kind of closet sympathizer—but what do you think would happen when he found out? And he would, sooner or later.”

“What if we all left together, though?” Kam asked, and the bottom fell out of my stomach as I realized he was seriously considering it.

“You want to do it,” I said faintly. “Oh my god. You want to throw everything away and run.”

He looked up at me again, and his dark gaze was pleading. “Leo, it’s not safe. People know our secret now. One wrong word, and this entire house of cards could come tumbling down around us.”

“It was always going to come tumbling down,” I said. “It was only ever a question of how much good we could do before it did! Kam—I can’t run away now.There’s still too much to do. What about the weapon, for god’s sake?”

He gathered my hands in his and looked at me, anguished. “I don’t want to watch you fall to that weapon, Leo. What if they decide to let it loose at the next summit? We could get out now—go someplace far away, where no one pays attention. Someplace where the Committee’s influence is weak. I don’t want both of us to die because you were too stubborn to recognize when the game was over!”

I pulled my hands away from his grip, the words cutting like a knife to the gut. “I’m not giving up,” I said, barely recognizing my own voice. “Our people need someone to fight for them in the halls of power. Kam, don’t make me choose between you and my work.”

An ominous silence fell as we sat staring at each other—separated by a handful of inches, along with a gap that suddenly felt as wide as the ocean.