Page 47 of To Hell With It
‘And remember how well you are doing – this is amazing, Pearl, and I’m so proud of you for even getting this far.’
‘Shut up or I am going to change my mind.’
‘Have you got everything?’
‘Yes.’
‘Passport?’
‘Yes.’
‘Check-in details?’
‘Yep.’
‘Sanitiser?’
‘First thing I packed.’
‘I can’t believe you’re actually doing this.’
‘I can’t either.’
‘It’s going to change your life.’
‘I don’t want to change my life.’
‘You do really.’
‘I don’t.’
‘I love you.’ Una squeezed my hand.
‘I hate you.’
‘See you on the other side.’
‘In hell, you mean?’
‘You’re not going to die, Pearl.’
‘No, but you are.’
‘What?’
‘I saw a red car this morning. I saw loads, actually. You’ve had it.’
‘Well, thanks for the heads up.’
‘You’re welcome.’
‘Come here, you eejit.’ Then Una pulled me close again and I didn’t want her to let me go.
ChapterTwenty-Seven
Ididn’t turn around to wave at Una because I knew if I did, I’d never have got through those gates, but the moment I did, the reality hit me like a bucket of ice-cold water to the face. There were people everywhere and there was no avoiding them. There was no avoiding anything.
I looked up because that’s what Mairéad said to do if I found myself feeling claustrophobic so that I didn’t see the crowds and imagined the clouds instead. But all I saw were bright lights, which made me feel even more lightheaded. Then I scanned the area around me and found my exit points. I memorised the signs in my head. I could get out if I needed to. I could get out and phone Una and she’d turn around and come back and get me, I knew she would.