Page 5 of The Equation of Us
Instead, I say, “It’s fine. Just research.”
But my mind keeps wandering.
Back to the way Daphne said it—he wants everything.
Back to the way Dean looked at me today.
And the annoying way my heart skipped.
The words shouldn’t matter. Their relationship is practically over. This whole situation—my tutoring him, our strange eye contact, the weird current humming beneath everything—doesn’t mean anything. Not even close.
Except now my head won’t quiet down.
Because the way Daphne said it—like it was a flaw—hits a nerve I’ve buried for years.
I’ve been called intense, too. Too ambitious. Too curious. Too “in my head” to enjoy the moment. I’ve been made tofeel that wanting things—sex, closeness, real chemistry—was embarrassing.
Sophomore year, I dated someone who praised me for being “low maintenance”—as long as I didn’t ask for too much, or show too much, orwanttoo much.
So I stopped asking.
I got quiet.
I decided maybe I wasn’t built for the messy, needy, thrilling kind of sex people whispered about in dorm rooms and Netflix dramas.
Maybe I was too logical for that. Too structured. Too safe.
But hearing that Deanwants that—that his problem was beingtootuned in, too focused, too hungry for something deeper—sends a jolt of something hot and sharp through me.
Not fear.
Not revulsion.
Curiosity.
Because what if I’m not broken?
What if I just haven’t been with someone who actually wantedmethat way?
Chapter Two
Response Bias
Dean
I don’t look back when I leave the tutoring center.
I don’t need to. I can still feel her.
Nora Shaw.
Precise, sharp-edged Nora, with her tight ponytail and that perfect, disapproving mouth. The straight-backed posture. The clipped, no-room-for-bullshit words. Even her silences—that somehow say more than most people’s shouting ever could.
She doesn’t smile once during our session. She doesn’t flinch either.
And that’s what messes with me the most.
I’d expected judgment. Thinly veiled pity. Maybe an exasperated sigh about how guys like me shouldn’t be anywhere near upper-level STEM classes if we’re just going to drag the curve. What I didn’t expect was to be seen.
