Page 172 of Hat Trick
Yeah. Can that be our session today?
Lexi
Of course. Should I ask the guys to come?
Me
Not this time. I want to do this by myself. And with you.
Lexi
Meet you at the arena in an hour?
Me
See you there.
* * *
I decidedon hockey pants instead of jeans for my second attempt at skating, and I’m hoping if I dress the part, I’ll be able todothe part.
Wishful fucking thinking, probably, after how disastrous last time was.
I’ve gone through the list of meditation exercises Dr. Ledlow gave me at my most recent therapy session, and I’m trying to visualize myself on the ice. I’m remembering what I looked like and how it felt when I wasgoodat skating, but I’m not sure the positive reinforcements are going to stick.
“Hi,” Lexi calls out from the bench, and I smile at the sound of her voice. “Sorry I’m late. With two weeks left in the regular season, everyone needs extra taping and foam rolling.”
“What the hell are you carrying?” I point to the large bag in her arms. “Is there a body in there?”
“Something better.” She sighs in relief when she sits next to me. “I did more research on the AHL player who had his leg amputated after going into cardiac arrest.”
“Oh, yeah.” I remember her mentioning him back at our first meeting with the team after my accident. I haven’t let myself look him up, too worried if I do, I’ll start creating unrealistic expectations for myself. I’ll start comparing myself to him, and I’ve never liked putting myself up against other people. “Ishein the bag?”
“No, but the prosthetic that’s identical to the one he uses is.” Lexi pulls the trash bag off the top of the hidden object and throws it on the floor. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. Once I did, I made some phone calls. I talked to some very smart people who outfit Paralympian speed skaters specifically, and they got to work. It’s a leg that attaches to a streamlined skate blade. You won’t have to lug around your heavy walking prosthetic, and this gives you more range of motion.”
“Holy shit.” I examine the prosthetic and lift it up. “It’s so light.”
“Right? Fair warning: it probably won’t fit perfectly today. I went off your other prosthetic measurements, so we’re probably going to have to do some adjusting, but I figured we’d try.”
Excitement buzzes through me, and Lexi waits for me to strip down to my briefs. I pop off my usual leg and replace it with the lighter, more agile one with a flexible liner. I lean forward and turn my hips side to side, trying to get used to the feel and shape of the new addition.
The socket isn’t as hard and rigid as what I’m used to, and it makes bending the knee easier. The pylon attached to the socket is slightly thinner, and at the bottom, instead of a foot, it’s an attachable Tuuk blade, exactly what I’d find at the bottom of a skating boot.
“What do you think?” she asks after I’ve taken a few minutes to twist and turn.
“I’m not sure. I feel naked. I’m so used to dragging that clunky thing around, and it feels like I’m forgetting something. It also looks funny.”
“I brought you some gym shorts. I know you were going to use your hockey pants, but these are going to allow for more movement.” Lexi pulls a pair of black athletic shorts out of the bag next, and I snort. “Is something funny, Mitchy?”
“What else do you have in there?” I ask, accepting the shorts and slipping on my hoodie.
“Nothing you’re going to get now.” She takes off her skate guards and stands. “Want to take it for a spin?”
I stare out at the ice and take a deep breath. The quiet arena has become a welcome place for me lately. Even though I haven’t laced up my skates and done so much as a lap around the rink since my epic fail of a first attempt, just being out here settles every racing thought in my head.
Today feels less monumental than the first time.
There’s no fanfare. There’s no one around to watch me fail except Lexi, and she’s seen me fail plenty of times. I’ve failed more times than I’ve succeeded, and she’s stuck around.
