Page 15 of Scarred Mountain Man
It was exactly why I had avoided a relationship for as long as I had. I couldn’t do that to a woman I cared about. So I had to be honest with Summer from the start.
“I lost a lot of buddies in combat,” I said. “Some had kids. Yes, they had wives at home too, but it was the kids that got to me. I grew up without parents, and I just…I don’t know. I couldn’t do that to a kid.”
She sat back, bra and underwear fully in place. “So you wouldn’t have one at all because you’re worried about someday not being there for them?”
“Shit happens. I’m out of the military now, but there are car accidents. Natural causes. I could have a heart condition I don’t even know about.”
She looked at me. “Do you have some reason to believe you’re in bad health?”
I shook my head. “It’s not that. It’s just…what if I can’t be the kind of father someone needs me to be? I never had one myself. Just a series of aunts and grandparents who did their best.”
Fear. That was exactly what this was. And I’d always prided myself on not being afraid of anything. It turned out I was afraid of letting down somebody I loved.
“You had relatives who raised you, though,” she said. “So you know people can step in and take care of things if something does happen.”
I thought about her words. Yeah, she was right. I always bemoaned my lack of parents, but I’d been lucky. Various relatives had taken care of me for as long as they could.
It wasn’t that they’d pawned me off on each other, either. My mom and dad had one living parent each between them when I was born, and they died a couple of years apart when I was in elementary school. After that, I was with one aunt for a while, then another. Finally, Aunt Meg finished raising me. They’d all done such a good job, I shouldn’t complain. But despite that, I’d done plenty of complaining over the years.
“You’d be a great father,” she said. “But I would never want to force you into it. If we stay together, that is. You might not even want to do that. I can’t imagine a life without kids of my own, though. You have to know that from the start.”
I’d always imagined my life without kids. But I’d also imagined it without a wife. I’d resigned myself to living alone. I had Aunt Meg for holidays until she died, and then I’d truly be alone for Christmas and Thanksgiving. It seemed bleak, but I always figured I’d find some friends to hang out with. Someone who would be kind enough to welcome me into their home.
I’d still be an outsider, though. It wouldn’t be my own family.
Shit, was I actually considering this? I was.
“We don’t have to decide tonight,” she said. “We have the rest of our lives. But whatever you’re going through, we can work through it together.”
Mostly, I couldn’t imagine a future without this woman. I couldn’t go a day of my life knowing she was out there somewhere. Wondering what she was doing. Wondering if she ever thought of me.
I looked out at the view in front of us and realized something. This small town was jam-packed full of wonderful people. People who were already starting to become family to me. I was in a safe place with friends who’d make sure Summer and any kids we had were taken care of if something ever happened.
Yeah, I could do this. It would be my biggest adventure yet, and I was ready for it. More than ready.
Finally, I looked over at her—more beautiful than the view in front of me—and that was when I knew it wasn’t the town or the help our extended family would give. She was my future. Everything would be okay as long as we had each other.
I reached out and took her hand in mine, gazing into her eyes. “I can do this.” I paused, then added, “Wecan do this.”
Slowly, a smile spread over her face. “Together. We can do anything together.”
And then she leaned in, lifting her face to mine. I met her halfway, her lips locking with mine in a kiss that sealed the deal. A kiss that told me no matter what happened, everything was going to be okay.
Everything was going to be better than okay. It was going to be better than I’d ever imagined.
EPILOGUE
SUMMER
“That’s the last of it,” Daisy said as she stepped back and looked around.
She’d just set a box full of dishes on the stack near the doorway. We’d been here almost a week, and I still hadn’t gotten to that group of boxes yet.
I grabbed both our coffee mugs and walked over to Daisy. I held her mug out to her.
“Decaf?” she asked as she took it and turned to check out the living room area of the newly built cabin.
I was six months pregnant with our second child, while Daisy had already had her third—a girl who was sleeping in her carrier in the guest bedroom. That meant Daisy could carry the boxes I wasn’t allowed to lift.
