Page 253 of Finding Us
She takes some steps, with me right behind her, my hands still over her eyes. I almost laugh as I take in the scene; pink and white balloons everywhere, the helium balloons floating above the roses, the giant tray of donuts next to the princess plates. I even hung pink streamers over the kitchen island. The whole thing looks kind of ridiculous but I wanted it to be funny. The real party will be tonight.
“Okay. Open your eyes.” I take my hands off her face and pull her back into my chest, kissing the top of her head. “Happy Birthday!”
I’m laughing, but she’s really quiet as she looks at everything. And then I feel her shaking a little. I spin her around and see that she’s crying. “What’s wrong? You don’t like it? I know it’s kid-like but it was supposed to be—”
“I love it.” She smiles, tears running down her face. “Thank you.” She hugs me.
“You’re welcome.” I don’t understand why she’s crying. It’s just some donuts and decorations. “You okay?” I pull back to look at her.
She wipes her face and nods. “Yes. Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry. It’s just that, as a kid, I always wanted a birthday party with special plates and matching napkins and balloons. I imagined it just like this. Pink and everything.”
She’s never told me this. She said as a kid, she never even thought about her birthday because her mom just treated it like any other day.
Jade steps up to the counter and picks up one of the princess plates. “Every birthday, I’d wake up thinking that maybe just once I’d come out of my room and my mom would have a balloon or a cake waiting for me. I didn’t need presents. I didn’t even need a cake. Just one balloon would’ve made me happy. Just so I’d know she remembered.”
I go up to her, taking the plate from her hand and putting my arms around her waist. “Jade, I didn’t know—”
“I know you didn’t. That’s why I was so surprised when I saw all this. I felt like I was a little girl again, except this time I actually got a balloon.” She laughs as she looks around at the room. “A lot more than one. How many are there?”
“Twenty.” I kiss her. “One for each year that you didn’t get one and one for today, when you finally did.”
She looks like she’s going to cry again. She squeezes her eyes shut and takes a breath. “Okay, no more crying.”
I hug her. Sometimes she’s so good at hiding the pain from her past that I forget how much of it is still inside her. Little things like a simple balloon can spark a memory and take her back to the dark places in her childhood she tries to pretend don’t exist.
It makes me want to do so much more for her. It makes me want to give her the biggest birthday party ever. But that’s not what Jade would want. Just something small, like what I’ve done here this morning, is all it takes to make her happy. I know this about her, but it still amazes me how the smallest things can put a huge smile on her face.
I lift her chin up and kiss her tear-stained cheek. “I love you, birthday girl.”
“I love you, too.” She eyes the donuts. “Can we have breakfast?”
“Yes. Enjoy your smorgasbord. I got one of each kind they had. You want anything else? I could make some eggs.”
“Eggs? No way. I’m pigging out on donuts.” She takes a sprinkled donut and sets it on one of the paper plates. “Princess plates.” She laughs. “My favorite.”
I give her a kiss. “I take care of my little princess.”
She rolls her eyes but smiles.
“Oh, and that’s not all.” I take the tiara off the counter and hand it to her. “You have to wear this. It goes with the theme.”
She always says princesses set a bad example for little girls but I guess she thinks it’s okay to be one herself because she takes the tiara and says, “I’m totally wearing it.” She positions it on her head. “How’s it look?”
“It looks good.” I take my phone out. “I gotta get a picture of this. Lilly will love it.”
“No photos.” She hides behind the balloons. “I don’t want anyone knowing about this.”
“About your hidden desire to be a princess?”
“Yes. I mean, no. I don’t have a hidden desire to be—”
I kiss her. “Go with it, Jade. Be a princess for a day, or at least just for breakfast.”
“Okay. Go ahead.” She smiles for the camera and I take a few shots.
“Grab some donuts and let’s eat outside. It’s really nice out today.”
“Roses!” She runs over to the kitchen table where the roses are sitting in a vase next to some presents.
