Page 252 of Finding Us
His insistence that I talk about this is making me angry. I know he just wants to help but I don’t want his help. I don’t want anyone’s help. I just want to forget about it and make it go away.
“I’m fine. So stop bugging me about this. Besides, you weren’t around for me last year on this day and I survived.”
I didn’t mean to bring that up. Both of us try to forget all those weeks when Garret wouldn’t speak to me. I don’t know howhefelt during those weeks, but I was a mess. He had become my best friend and one of the few people I trusted and then he just ditched me and refused to talk to me. He didn’t even give me an explanation for why he did it. That was a really bad time for me and sometimes I still feel a little pissed off that he did that to me.
He sighs and looks down at the floor. “I know, and I regret that, Jade. If I’d known, I would’ve—”
“You would’ve what? Not stopped being friends with me without even saying why? Not ignored me for all those weeks? Like I really would’ve wanted you to be nice to me out of pity.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. And I regret doing that to you last year. Leaving you like that, without an explanation. I hate knowing that last year on this day, you were all alone in your dorm room. That shouldn’t have happened. But you shouldn’t have waited so long to tell me about this day. Even before we dated, we were friends, Jade. Best friends. We still are, and that’s why I wish you’d open up to me about this.”
“You’re making a big deal out of nothing. Really, Garret. I have nothing to say about it.”
His eyes search my face. I can tell he’s trying to decide if he should keep pushing this issue or just let it go. Luckily, he lets it go.
“If you change your mind about this, I’m always here for you, okay? Even if it’s the middle of class and you decide you want to talk, just text me and I’ll be there.”
I agree to it, but I know it won’t happen. I don’t want to talk about it. This is something I deal with in my head and that’s where I’m going to keep it.
And by the next day, I’ve already moved past it, or at least I tell myself that. I focus all my thoughts on my birthday, which is tomorrow. I start quizzing Garret about it. He tells me we’re going out to dinner at that crappy diner with the bad pancakes. Obviously, it’s a lie but I can’t get him to tell me what we’re really doing. Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll love it.
Tomorrow is going to be so great. Frank and Ryan will be here and I’ll have an actual birthday celebration. Maybe I’ll even get a cake with candles. My first real birthday party. This is so exciting!
CHAPTERFIFTY-EIGHT
GARRET
I woke up early this morning and snuck out of bed and went to the bakery. I got two dozen donuts, which is way too many, but I wanted Jade to have her donut smorgasbord and you need at least two dozen for that. Then I stopped at the grocery store and got her a dozen pink roses and three giant helium balloons that say ‘Happy Birthday.’ I also got a bag of regular balloons. I just finished blowing them up and I feel like I’m going to pass out. I blew up 20 of them, since she’s 20 today.
Yesterday between classes, I went to the store and bought birthday-themed paper plates and napkins. They only had ones that are meant for kids so I got some bright pink, princess-themed plates. Jade’s so anti-princess that I thought it would be funny. And just to top it off, I bought her a plastic tiara with fake jewels on it.
Once everything’s set up, I sneak back into bed and give her a kiss. “Happy Birthday.”
She opens her eyes and smiles. “Are you my present?”
“Icanbe, but you have real presents in the other room.”
“Really?”
She’s so excited. She’s even more excited than Lilly gets on her birthday.
“Yes, really. Do you want to go check them out?”
“Can we take a shower first?”
“Whatever you want. It’s your day.”
The shower includes sex, of course, and as we’re getting dressed, Jade says, “Now that’s the way to kick off a birthday.”
“You ready for more?” I see her smiling and say, “I didn’t mean sex. I meant more birthday fun. Although we can certainly have more sex, if that’s you want.”
She laughs. “I do want more, but not right now. I need some breakfast.”
“It’s all set up for you.” I stand behind her and cover her eyes with my hands.
“What are you doing?”
“Surprising you. Just walk forward toward the kitchen. I’ll tell you when to stop.”
