Page 233 of Promising You
“See? There’s no way you could go the rest of your life without giving me one of your insults.”
He lets me go and I get the feeling he wants to end this now, while we’re still in this make-believe happy place. While the mood is light and not so sad.
But I’m not ready for it to end.
I’m not ready to say goodbye.
I can’t do this. I can’t.
Garret takes both my hands in his. “So I’ll see you later, okay?” He uses an upbeat tone, but his face is serious and struggling to form even the slightest smile.
My heart is running fast, skipping beats, like it’s in total distress.
I need more time.
This can’t be the end.
But it is.
And I need to say goodbye.
I swallow hard past the giant lump in my throat, begging my eyes not to cry. “Yeah. I’ll see you later.”
I turn to leave, but Garret keeps hold of one of my hands. “Hey.”
I turn back around.
“Before you go. One more thing.” His beautiful blue eyes are wet now, ready to drop tears at any second. It just confirms that he, too, believes this is the end, no matter what he says.
“Yeah?” I bite my bottom lip hard to keep from crying.
“I love you, Jade Taylor.” He smiles even though a tear is running down his face. “I always will.”
I somehow manage to smile back, tears now pouring from my eyes. “I love you, too, Garret Kensington. I’ll love you forever.”
With those final words, I tear my hand from his and run out of the tent, through the woods and up the hill to the trail, not looking back.
When I get to my room, I cry like I’ve never cried before, hoping it will help relieve all the hurt, loss, and sadness I’m feeling. But it doesn’t. It’s going to take a long time to feel better. A really long time. Even so, I tell myself that I’m not going to cry about this after today. I knew this was coming and crying about it doesn’t make it any easier.
I have to accept that this chapter of my life is closing. And I’ll be okay. I’ll move on, just like I did after my mom’s suicide.
I’m strong and I can get past this.
CHAPTERFIFTY-FIVE
At noonI leave to meet Grace for lunch. I don’t feel like going out, but I told her I’d be there. As I’m driving to the restaurant I realize that I’m actually glad I’m going to see her. We’re both experiencing loss and sadness and maybe just by being together we can make each other feel a little bit better.
We meet at the cafe in the old historic house, the one we went to when I first met her. It’s weird not having Arlin there. And really sad. Grace gives me a hug when I see her.
“I’m so sorry,” I say softly as we hug.
She rubs my back. “It’s okay, honey. I’ll see him again someday.”
When we pull away and take our seats, I see her taking deep breaths to keep her emotions in check. She looks thinner, like she hasn’t eaten since it happened.
We talk a little about the funeral, but then she quickly changes the subject to her flower garden, telling me what she’s planting next week and about the new flower seeds she ordered. She talks about it all through lunch and I just listen because I know that talking about geraniums and petunias is the only way she can get through the pain she’s feeling. We all have our own way of dealing with these things and this is hers.
When we’re done eating, she gets her purse out and I assume that means she’s getting ready to leave.
