Page 40 of All the Beautiful Things
She was sexy. I knew she hadn’t forgiven me, and I knew I hadn’t earned it back. I also knew her trusting me again would take longer. But to be on the receiving end of that look, I’d work my ass off for it for as long as I needed to.
“I do not.”
“Do so.”
I tore off a chunk of toast and tossed it at her. It fell right down the gap in the front of her sweatshirt and she gasped before digging it out.
“What are you? Five?”
“No.” Horny. Pissed. Scared. In love with this woman but with everything that’d happened it was not the time to say it. “I’m just… lost,” I admitted and shook my head as if a simple head shake could wipe away my problems.
The gleam in her eyes flattened into worry. “Is your dad coming in to work today?”
“Yeah. He’ll be there as much as possible. I’m sure of it.”
“It sucks. All of this really sucks. But it sucks even more it’s happened right before Brandon’s wedding.”
“Shit. I didn’t even call him last night.” Fuck. I swiped a hand over my unshaven scruff and grimaced. How had I not thought to see how he was doing? Dad was the only dad Brandon had ever known until Jenna’s family welcomed him into theirs with open arms. “I don’t know if he’s planning on being in this week.”
Shoving the last bite of toast into my mouth, I grabbed my plate and tossed it into the sink. “I need to get ready.” The list of things I needed to do was growing exponentially with every passing second.
Lilly gaped at me, and her toast froze halfway to her mouth. “Now?”
“Yeah. Now.”
“Hudson, it’s barely six.”
“I need to get into work. Call Brandon. I’m sure he’s up.”
“The world isn’t going to explode if you wait an hour. Take your time.” She came to me, bringing her half-emptied plate. It was possible I went a bit manic on the amount of eggs I gave her.
My chest tightened, gripped in a fist until it ached to breathe. She didn’t understand.
If I didn’t move, I’d go crazy.
“I can’t just sit and do nothing.”
“I know.” She set down her plate and slid her arms beneath mine until she had me wrapped in a hug. My arms immediately returned the favor and I held her to me, almost crushing her. Lilly in my arms again. It wasn’t everything I wanted, but it was more than I deserved.
“It will be okay,” she whispered.
I kissed the top of her head and held my lips there. “You can’t promise that.”
* * *
I steppedoff the elevator an hour later, slowing my steps when Stephanie’s head lifted from where she’d been working at her desk. Her mascara was smeared, and her cheeks a deep red. In all the years Stephanie had worked for my dad, as many as I could remember and well before I was even in high school, she had never looked so disheveled.
She stood as I approached and came around the edge of the desk.
“Stephanie—” I warned her, but she ignored me.
She pulled me into a hug, trapping my arms at my sides so I couldn’t hug her back. Not that I planned on doing that.
“Not here,” I murmured.
Her body shook and she pulled back, patting my biceps and smiling in that sad way women did. A smile that was somehow equally both happy and sad at the same time.
“Dad told you.”
