Page 39 of All the Beautiful Things
“No?” Two letters. They tripped over my tongue and my voice cracked.
“I was in here because I was worried about what I’d do if I stayed in that bed with you any longer.”
“Oh.” My brain, the part of it currently melting from the heat of his gaze and his searing touch on my body, shouted for me to ask what he’d do. Or demand a show-and-tell demonstration.
My rational side kicked in first and I blinked, breaking the spell. “Hudson.”
His name was an apology on my lips.
Because I couldn’t.
I wasn’t ready.
Giving in because we were scared about David wouldn’t do us any favors.
“I get it,” he said. “I do. I understand.”
He stood from the bench and swung a leg over, as if my refusal meant nothing. Holding out his hand, he grinned down at me. “Ready for some breakfast before you have to go get ready for work?”
And just like that, he was able to sweep away the sexual tension smoldering the curtains in the room as if it never existed in the first place. Me?
I wouldn’t be able to do that until I was back in the privacy of my own condo, relieving the tension in private ways.
Which only further confirmed how much my body wanted Hudson. It was my heart that was going to take more time.
13
Hudson
Here I was, already lying all over again to Lilly.
What I said earlier about why I woke up wasn’t true. Not at all.
I woke up with Melissa’s pained whimpers echoing in my ears and the scent of her chemo drugs burning my nose.
Cancer.
How many men had to watch not one, but two, of their family members battle this in as many years?
Life wasn’t fair. Not for me. I thought I was on the edge of getting everything I wanted, and of course fate had to play a cruel trick and kick my feet out from under me.
My dad was my rock. He was my closest ally and my fiercest supporter. He was the guy who’d lived enough for dozens of men and came equipped with the wisdom of double the amount.
And he was sick.
I shoved the eggs I’d fried up into my mouth but they tasted like dirt and death. Across the table from me, Lilly was quiet, but I could tell by the glances she gave me she had questions. So many questions to ask me. I didn’t want to answer any of them.
I planned on getting ready and then heading to Dad’s so I could talk to him more, get more information so I could research, make sure he really did have the best doctors working for him. The best possible plan for success mapped out. If he was willing to go through initial testing and radiation without telling any of us, what else was he hiding?
I’d demand access to medical records so I could research them with a fine-tooth comb. Hell, maybe his doctors were wrong. Maybe he was fine and radiation worked. Maybe there was a mix-up and they read another man’s X-rays. Not that I wanted anyone else to die, but as long as it wasn’t my old man, I could live with it.
“If you think any louder, you’re going to give me a headache.”
I jumped at Lilly’s voice. Shit. I’d practically forgotten she was there as my thoughts ran away from me.
“Sorry.” I shoved another bite of eggs into my mouth, followed by toast.
“Did you know when you scowl, you get this really deep line in your forehead? Right here?” She drew a line with her fingernail across her forehead. I got distracted by her impish grin. The fullness of her lips and the gleam in her eyes.
