Page 34 of All the Ugly Things
Thinking of you…
I peeled my gaze off her and shrugged. There was no way my presence here didn’t look planned, and she had every right to that suspicious gleam in her eyes and cant of her hips. “I had plans that went bust earlier and went for a walk. Just… ended up here. And now, I’m thinking of getting a cupcake before I head home. Do you want one?”
“A cupcake and a walk.” Her tone was a mixture of thinking I was a liar or an idiot. She was probably correct on both accounts. “You live around here?”
“Few miles away.” More like ten. She didn’t need to know that. If I spoke anymore, I was at risk of spilling everything. The need to lay out all my cards, face up, thrummed in my chest like a bongo drum. This pounding for a woman I couldn’t have and shouldn’t want.
“So, cupcake?” I asked when she didn’t say anything. She kept watching me with this look, like she was trying to figure me out. Dig until she found my motive.
I couldn’t blame her. Running into her tonight wasn’t planned and hadn’t been wanted, but now that I saw her I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
She slid her hands to the butt pockets of her jeans. It pushed out her breasts I liked looking at. I hated everything about her clothes even if they clung to her body perfectly.
They were too worn, too faded… too… used by other people.
She deserved better and I wanted to ask her all my questions.
Did that bother her? Did she mind her hard life now or was she okay with it? What did she miss the most?
“Sure,” she finally said, squinting at the dark sky. “A cupcake sounds nice.”
* * *
“This place is really cute.I didn’t even know it existed.”
It’d been years since I saw someone so excited about cupcakes. Yet from the moment we walked in, Lilly’s eyes had been wide with wonder. If all it took was a wine and dessert bar to put that expression on her face I’d bring her here every week.
“A friend of mine from high school opened it.”
“Really?” She almost smiled at me. Almost. Closer though. “That’s cool. You still friends with her?”
“Acquaintances, mostly.”
“Those must be nice to have.”
My heart hurt with her flippancy, but she looked to the board filled with menu items and licked her lips.
Guaranteed, I’d be thinking of that lip lick at the most inappropriate times from here to eternity.
“What should I get?”
“Anything you want.”
We stood back and let customers who seemed more decisive order first and every time they ordered something, Lilly’s face gleamed with delight.
Over a fucking cupcake.
“You can always come back and try more,” I said, trying to prod her along.
“Not in my budget.” She pressed her lips together then and a pink hue creeped up her throat.
Ah. Shit. Sometimes when I was next to her, I forgot.
If it wasn’t in her budget now, chances are, it hadn’t been for the last year, either. When was the last time she’d had a fucking cupcake?
“Come on.” I placed my hand on her lower back without thinking and immediately, a fissure of heat traveled up my arm before I could yank it back.
Goddamn. Even through clothing, she affected me. Lilly flinched from my touch and I cringed, dropping my hand.
