Page 33 of All the Ugly Things
“Right. Get home safe,” I said, more in warning to the driver.
She dismissed me with a flip of her hand, already on her phone, probably telling her friends I was a giant jackass. My only defense? The date was more for Brandon than myself, so whatever. But when the Uber was gone and the night was still young, I was in no hurry to return home, to pace my living room, debate figuring out how to get a hold of Lilly and ask what she was thinking. How she was doing.
If she was safe.
If she needed money. Needed help. With anything.
Goddamn, you’re a pathetic sap.
Hearing about her and seeing her pictures was bad. After having met her, and hunted her down a second time, it was worse.
This craving pissed me off… these emotions I didn’t even want.
“Screw it.” I shoved my keys into the pocket of my gray dress pants and headed down the street in the opposite direction of my car. I needed a walk. A few miles or hours to clear my head before returning home to silence.
* * *
I walkedfor what felt like forever, my arches and heels starting to ache in my dress shoes when I noticed a church up ahead. Outdoor lights illuminated the gothic architecture, the dozens of stone steps leading to the entrance with gleaming, at least twelve-foot-high wood doors. At least a half-dozen self-standing signs were lined up right outside the doors, but it was the church as a whole that called to me.
In my youth, I’d spent hours every week at church. Between Bible studies and Sunday morning worship times and Vacation Bible Schools in the summer, I couldn’t remember a time when I hadn’t enjoyed sitting inside the walls of a church, or the peace it brought when I needed a place to reflect on what was going on in my life. As I grew older and then after Mom died, both Dad and I stopped going for the most part. I think we both felt we could show love to others, serve them and care for them, if we spent that time outside the walls of corporate worship than inside, but it’d always been a place that brought me peace.
Tonight, it called to me for a different reason. A place to take a break, relax, and get my head settled after the disaster of my time with Harper. I also needed to figure out what I was going to tell Dad if Lilly never called and decided she didn’t want help.
He hated failing.
“Shit.” I dropped my face to my hands and my elbows to my knees.
I had no idea how long I sat there, lost and confused and pissed off and twisted on those cooling cement steps but the sun had long since set when there was movement around me. I stared straight ahead, hands falling to my lap. At least a dozen people walked by, not so much as sparing me a glance sitting there. Someone walked by me, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, and paused with their back to me. I looked back down at my feet. It was probably time to get home and forget this day when a shoe came into view and then the tip of that shoe tapped my foot.
“Are you stalking me? This is getting ridiculous.”
Oh damn.I recognized the voice immediately.
I twisted my neck and blocked my eyes against the harsh streetlight… and yup.
The woman I couldn’t get out of my head was standing next to me, staring down at me. And who could blame her for thinking that?
“No. No, I wasn’t.” I stood and brushed my hands down my thighs. She was the exact last person I’d expected to see. “What are you doing here?”
“Meeting.” She pointed back at the church. There were several signs I noticed earlier but didn’t pay particular attention to until now. Al-Anon. Nar-Anon. AA.
Right.
“Was it good?”
Lilly’s head fell to the side, long, blonde hair cascaded down just past her shoulder. She’d kept it short in prison, but it’d grown since then. When she was at the diner, she always wore it back in a ponytail. I’d never realized how long it was. Or full. Or how soft-looking.
Good God, Hudson. Get it together.
“Are they supposed to be?”
She had the hint, the smallest hint of an impish grin. It lit up her entire beautiful face which had much less makeup on it than when she was at the diner. Now it was muted, natural, giving her an incredibly sexy soft look. Had there been more light, I’d be able to see her freckles.
Something I shouldn’t be noticing.
“Your turn. Why are you here?” she asked, and I realized I was gaping at her. Admiring her beauty. She’d absolutely hate it if I brought it up.
Thin, arched brows waited for my answer.
