Page 112 of This Time Around
Thirty-Five
Cooper
Last night was the first night in over a month where I’d debated about heading back to the guesthouse to sleep, or give the couch another try.Instead, I slept next to Rebeca, an ice block of unspoken conversations we had to have between us, chilling the room.In the morning, I woke to find the spot where Rebecca slept empty, and the coffeepot missing at least one cup of coffee.
She’d taken off early, and I didn’t bother searching for her even though it was my first inclination.The first time I told Rebecca I loved her, it was dropping a bomb onto burning asphalt.At the time, I not only meant it, I meant every word that followed.
I didn’t tell her I loved her because I needed her to but because I couldn’t keep it inside any longer.As days turned to weeks, I hadn’t realized how desperately I needed that returned from her until yesterday, when I was still inside of her, chest heaving from the glorious feel of her and the way she wrung orgasms from me like she could never need anything more.
Perhaps that was the problem—maybe it really was all she needed from me.She’d made it clear what she was after months ago before I ever touched her.I was the one who went and changed the rules, but that didn’t mean she had ever planned on changing the game.
I hadn’t even bothered to open the package Max overnighted me.We’d spoken at length over the last couple of weeks and he knew my plans.Now, those were all up in the air.I also couldn’t put it off any longer.
Setting down my coffee mug, I ripped open the thin strip of cardboard and pulled out a stack of paper.
“What the hell?”
Dropping the stack of papers I hadn’t requested and didn’t want on the counter, I grabbed my phone and pulled up Max’s number.I didn’t care it was before five o’clock his time.
The phone rang once, twice, then three times.By the time the fourth ring started, my jaw ached from clenching it.
“Do you have any idea what time it is?”Max’s groggy voice asked as he answered.“Some of us don’t wake to the squawk of roosters, Coop.”
“Some of us don’t get a package with a script he was clear he wanted to back out of this early in the morning either.What gives?”
“Yeah, I figured you’d call me last night when you saw it.Don’t even want to know why it took so long.”
I waited for him to keep going and took a large drink of my coffee while he groaned and stretched.
“Max—” I all but growled when it took him too damn long.Rarely did he go specifically against my wishes.I flipped through the stack of papers and stopped when I saw what I was looking for.
The contract to back out of the movie.The cost it’d set me back to do so on such short notice.
He had sent me what I requested.
“Just saw the contract,” I muttered.
“Yeah, sent you both.”
“So why the script.”
“Because it starts filming in a month.If you change your mind, you need to be ready, and I’m not entirely convinced you backing out is best for your career.”
“I know what I want,” I stated, lips pressed together, my words came out almost as a sneer.
“I know you think you do, but this movie isn’t just Golden Globe worthy, Cooper.We’re talking Oscars.Leading man.This catapults your career to the next level, and frankly, it’s my job to tell you when you’re being an idiot.”
A strange warmth flooded my chest.An Oscar.I’d known that about this movie from the moment the director approached Max.This wasn’t the typical romantic comedy or action or drama.This film was epic, the journey of a soldier who fought for Germany and escaped during World War II when he refused to participate in murdering innocent women and men.He then entered America illegally, and it cataloged the rest of his life in his new country, fighting for a place and belonging to a community who knew he came straight from an evil empire.
Max was absolutely right, it would change the entire trajectory of my career.It put me in the upper echelon of actors and actresses where I’d have my choice of starring roles for possibly the entirety of my lifetime.
Until twelve hours ago, I didn’t have a single doubt in my head that walking away from all of it would be worth it.
With Rebecca avoiding me last night, and clearly still avoiding me this morning, now there was the smallest whisper in my head, telling me walking away from this role and refusing to do it would be sabotage.
“Read it, Cooper.It’s irresponsible not to, and I sent the contract in case you still want to walk away.Do what you want.I’ll be at your back regardless of what choice you make, but before you throw this role away, you have to have all the information to make this decision.That’s all I sent it for.”
“Max.”I clamped my mouth shut.I was at a loss for words.
