Page 69 of Long for Me
“You told me she didn’t hit you.”
I glared at him. “There’s a lot of ways to hit someone without fists, and my mom might not have used hers, but her words were venomous enough.”
“You left that, Rebecca. That makes you strong and someone to admire, not someone to cower.”
“But I’m putting myself, willingly, and enjoyably if you want the truth, right back into the situation I escaped from.”
His hands swept to my shoulders and back up to my cheeks. Chill bumps followed the wake of his hands until my entire body shivered.
“You’re wrong.”
“I’m not.”
“Have I hurt you in any way that didn’t arouse you? Have I treated you in a way that has ever said I don’t respect you? When have I hurt you to hurt you and not to arouse you? That’s the difference with Dominance versus abuse, Rebecca. I don’t spank you or bind you or tell you what to do to cause you pain or because I’m angry. I do it because when you scrape away all the bullshit, sometimes kinky sex is just a turn on and when two people enjoy it, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
I pushed his hands away from me and stepped back. “But don’t you see? It is the same to me. It’s all muddled together and I’m so far tied to you that I can’t see the difference.”
“And you trusted me to show you that part when you signed that contract and dropped to your knees in my office. I’ve done nothing to break that.”
He hadn’t this week, but he was planning on it tomorrow.
“I think I’ve changed my mind.”
He laughed softly, instead of growling in anger. God, this man was so infuriating and he wasn’t listening! “Bullshit. You’re scared because of what you feel when you’re with me. But you don’t need to be. I bring out everything wild inside of you.”
He wanted honesty? Fine. I’d give him that. “Don’t you see? You’ve turned me into some crazed, wild woman and it’s only been days. It is terrifying.”
“It doesn’t have to be, damn it. There’s a wild that’s nasty and rabid and will eat you alive, disease you if you unleash it, but there’s also a wild that I have, Rebecca. A wild where you live without fear and without regret. A wild where you don’t trudge through life, but you experience every breathtaking moment. You grab it with both hands while you walk this Earth and you don’t just do it living, you do it beingalive.”
“And when you get tired of teaching me how to live?” My voice wavered and I looked away, crossing my arms over my stomach. God. I hated showing him how vulnerable I could be.
He threw his head back and laughed and I snapped to him. “Youarecrazy.” Still laughing, he wrapped an arm around my lower back and pulled me to him. He jerked me so harshly, my hands flew to his hips. “Do you honestly think that I could get tired of you? I could mine your depths for all your secrets for the rest of my life and I will never become bored with you.”
Holy shit. Did he just say that?
“Bennett—”
“Yeah, Rebecca. I said it. And I mean every word. You have nothing,nothing, to be afraid of when it comes to me. I promise you.”
My body was buzzing like a live wire, sparking misfires to all the parts of my body. My limbs, the tops of my thighs. God, he couldn’t mean that. “You can’t guarantee that.”
“No. I don’t know the future but we’ve already discussed I’m a man who knows exactly what he wants.” He brushed hair off my shoulders, eyes softening to a warm, chocolate brown. “And what I want, Rebecca, is you. At my side and at my feet, whenever I wish. I want you in my bed and in my office. What else is there that is scaring you?” His thumb swiped over my eyebrow. “What are you not telling me?”
“You see too much,” I muttered, shaking my head. “You make me feel too much.”
“That’s not a bad thing.”
“No, but it sets me up for heartbreak when you throw such beautiful words in my lap and at the same time, have a date already planned for tomorrow.”
His eyes popped open and his jaw dropped.
“My replacement in the wings?” At my sneering tone, his mouth snapped closed and then he rolled his lips together.
I shoved away from him, pushed against his chest with all my might and damn it, he let me go. He let me leave him, while he hid his laughter at my outburst. To control my bubbling rage, I picked up my wine glass. Without thought, I drained it.
His humor filled my house and the beautiful sound of his thrilled, amused laughter sent cold spikes sliding through my veins. He grabbed me, hands at my waist and he pushed me toward the kitchen counter. His chest to my back, he moved me quickly until I was bent over the counter, his warm, still laughing mouth at my ear. “You infuriating, crazy woman. I’m going to love mining the depths of you.”
“Stop making fun of me,” I said, tears already building behind my eyes. I wouldn’t let them fall. I wouldn’t show him how much his laughing at me hurt me.
