Page 68 of Long for Me
As if he knew the struggle going on in my body, he lifted his head, shoulders slumping as he heaved a heavy breath. “This why you didn’t come back to the office today? Why you turned off your phone?”
“It’s a part of it.”
Without taking his gaze off mine, holding me prisoner in my place by his glare alone, he reached over and flicked the file closed. “What’s the other part?”
“I wanted some space, to consider everything.”
“Everything?” Two thick, black brows arched into two perfect points. The slowness of his movements paralyzed me. God damn it. Even trying to move away from him, desperately wanting it, I was still captive to him. He’d shed his suit coat at some point, unbuttoned and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. His tie was gone, shirt unbuttoned, and he was simply glorious.
Veins I couldn’t wait to have the time to run my tongue along rose on his forearms and the backs of his hands.
He took a step toward me. One small step that was as smooth as a cat but the tension in his jaw belied his relaxed posture. “What do you mean by everything, Rebecca?”
“You,” I choked. “I needed space from you and who I become when I’m with you.”
Surprised flashed in his eyes. I expected it to turn to anger, instead, he did the opposite.
An amused smirk twisted his lips and he took another step forward, crossed his arms over his chest. “Me? You don’t like who you become around me?” He gestured toward the living room behind us, and my pulse fluttered. “You just bent over your couch, allowed me to spank you, you came more spectacularly than any woman I’ve ever been with, and you want space from that?”
“Yes.” Damn him! His words. He knew what to do to evoke a response from me, and it was never the one I wanted. But it was always honest. Shit!
“Liar.” He closed the space between us before I could add distance. His arms brushed against my breasts sending fissures of delight to my nipples and then his hands were at my waist, gently, softly. “You are such a little liar, Rebecca. You don’t want space from me, you’re simply terrified of how I make you feel.”
“I’m not.” I searched for words but my brain had emptied of everything rational. See? This was why I needed space from him. He scrambled my brain into mush and I became this biddable toy he could move at his whim.
It was infuriating.
His hand slid up my side until his palm rested at my neck. His thumb swiped along my jaw until it rested at my pulse. “You can’t hide your truth from me. Your pulse is beating out of control. Either you’re so angry you want to kick me in the balls, or you want me so badly you’re trying not to rip off my clothes.”
Insufferable prick. “You...” I growled.
“Are handsome, intelligent, and most of all—” He leaned down, eyes inches from mine, and they narrowed to angry slits. “I’m your Dom, Rebecca. You cannot lie to me and you cannot hide from me. You think I don’t know what you’re thinking?”
“You have no idea.”
He ignored me. “You are fearful that I’m turning you into your mother. You hate that you can be so pissed off at me, yet drop your pants and give me your ass simply because I desire it. You’re riddled with guilt and fear and have twisted something beautiful into something ugly and I won’t allow it. You have safe words, I even reminded you of them earlier, and you still chose to submit.”
“Yeah, but that’s because—”
“You love the way I make you feel.”
God. My heart. It was so fast, my blood was boiling.
“You make me feel out of control.”
His other hand pressed against my neck until he was cupping me. Still so tender, so soft, so undeniably sexy and mind-boggling.
With his thumbs at the soft skin beneath my chin, he tilted my head back, met my gaze and brushed his lips over mine. “That’s the first honest thing you’ve said since I stepped foot into your house. Don’t lie to me, Rebecca, you’re shit at it. Now tell me what’s going on in your head and why you’re considering leaving me.”
I dropped my gaze until I was staring at his throat. No way could I be honest while looking into eyes that were fathomless pits able to read me so clearly. “It’s just a job.”
“Bullshit.” His fingertips tightened. “It’s not a job, it’sme. And if you want to end our contract, you know what to say to do it. This game is beneath you.”
“It’s not a game.” My limbs trembled as I tried to gather my thoughts. With shaking hands, I gripped his forearms between us to steady myself. Since he could see through me, I threw everything at him. I had enough baggage to send him running far away. “I’ve already told you this, but the first memory I have of my father is him punching my mom so hard, she fell to the kitchen floor. It was gray, and I know that doesn’t matter, but it’s strange the things I remember seeing right before his foot landed in her gut.”
“Rebecca—”
“But that wasn’t the worst, because after he stole all our money, cleared out our bank accounts, he left me with a woman who was so beaten down, emotionally and physically, he took off and left us with nothing and my mother quit being such a punching bag and instead, turned all her venom on me.”
