Page 94 of His to Seduce
Chapter 31
Camden
I’d turned into a woman I didn’t recognize. I’d turned into a woman with strong emotions, and every day without David made them spin out of control. Somehow along the way, I’d fallen so hard and so deep for him, I’d become Paige, where I actually imagined happily ever afters for people like me. I’d started believing that love conquers all bullshit and that hope comes in the morning. I started to hope Paige’s whispers of princes that bring princesses back to life with a kiss could be a reality…that David could be my prince and rescue me from the evil monster lurking in my shadows.
It was bullshit.
The only thing falling in love did was rattle me and leave me on uncertain footing. It shook me to my core, made my throat hurt and my eyes puffy. It meant using eye drops to hide the sandpaper feeling left by too many tears.
A heart shouldn’t hurt so much just because of someone else. It was unnatural.
I’d do anything to fix it except be honest. He’d walked away and dropped me off a week ago and I hadn’t heard a word from him, except for his quiet parting shot that made me question everything.
“I love you, Camden. Whatever else you think right now, know that. And when you’re ready, come to me. I’ll be here.”
Even in the distance, he was being patient. Waiting. At night I imagined David in his bed, his cheek resting on a pillow next to him and inhaling a whiff of the scent of my shampoo. I imagined him longing.
Then I woke up, screaming from nightmares that should have been vanquished a decade ago, and it was all hopeless.
Running became a chore, no longer my solace, no longer a goal to meet, and when race day had come last week, I’d punked out and didn’t go. Everything I loved seemed darker when David wasn’t around to make me laugh. I didn’t know how much I’d come to love the softness of his touch running through my hair, how much that rainbow of colors on his wrist from stolen hair ties made me smile, until I woke up without that visual reminder close by.
I didn’t want to live without him…
But when was I ever going to be able to flay myself wide open and let him see the ugliest parts of me?
And how long would he wait for me to get to that place?
—
I spun a slow circle, jaw-dropping beauty everywhere around me. Chelsea’s new home, to which Aidan had given her keys last week, was majestic and everything she’d always wanted.
“I still can’t believe he built a house for you.”
She nudged my shoulder with a soft smile. “Us. He builtusa house. Bigger than we’ll ever probably need, but I’ll take it anyway because it comes with Aidan.”
Tears sprang to my eyes and I tried fruitlessly to shake them away. “How do you do it? How do you go through all the hard things you’ve faced and still smile?”
“Silly girl.” She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in tight. Other than Suzanne, Chelsea was the best friend I’d ever had. She put up with my neurotic lists and plans and my doom-and-gloom personality with a smile and tinkling laughter. The last few months had been hard on her after she watched Aidan’s son die and then watched Derrick’s best friend spiral downward, but somehow she’d survived with smiles and hugs for everyone, while helping Aidan past the worst of it, just by being herself—full of goodness and kindness and undying hope at every turn.
“You do it because there’s too much life has to offer. I do it because I’ve always hoped that someday I’ll be given everything I ever wanted.”
Her chin wobbled as she spoke, and we both knew what she was thinking about. The four bedrooms upstairs. She and Aidan were moving in immediately, and both of their houses were for sale. Once they sold, they’d claim the largest bedroom with the most gorgeous soaking tub I’d ever seen. The other three bedrooms would most likely remain empty, since Chelsea knew the possibility of her ever having children was a stretch.
How she maintained hope, I had no idea, and even now, with her chin shaking and tears pooling, she was still smiling.
“Have I ever told you you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met?” I asked.
“Have I ever told you that I think you’re stronger than any of us?”
I spun on my heels and looked out the windows through her dining area. Large, open windows with a view of rolling land and trees in the distance. It was all the land she’d always wanted, with the kind of guy she’d always dreamed of. And somehow, she still held on to some damn kernel of hope that all the bedrooms upstairs would be filled.
How could I possibly be stronger when I was still running?
“I understand why you hold yourself back, you know.”
Stunned at her words, my back pulled tight and I twisted back around to face her.
“What?”
