Page 117 of His to Cherish
“There are options,” I finally said, shaking my head. “Odds are extremely low, risks are extremely high. Not to mention the sky-high costs. It wouldn’t be easy, and it could take years.”
Years. I was running out of time. But I wasn’t ready to give up Aidan. Not now.
I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
Shaking my head, I took a step away, needing a minute to gather my composure.
“God, I don’t know what hit me today.” I laughed, but it was shaky, and Aidan had a tight expression on his face when I finally pulled my eyes to his, braving the idea of facing him again. “I know it won’t happen, not for me, not now. Some days it just hurts.”
I shrugged it off. I knew Aidan could see my pain, but his expression twisted into something different.
His eyes were soft and his hands fell to his hips. “I always wanted more kids.”
What? My head jerked back. “I didn’t…I wasn’t…” God, I couldn’t even speak. I was stunned speechless when a wistful smile spread across Aidan’s lips.
“I’m not saying I’m in any place to have children now, by any means. Derrick’s death is too sharp.”
His lips twisted as he saiddeath,and God, I was so stupid for spilling any of this today.
“But I always wondered what it’d be like to someday get married and have a family when I was in the place I am now.”
“I’m not asking you for this, Aidan,” I said, still confused, and pulled back.
“I thought we were building something here, something I like a lot, and the timing isn’t the best at all, but if we keep moving closer to one another, there’s a whole future I could imagine with you. I don’t know where I’ll be in time with the thought of kids, but I don’t think I could count them out, either. Someday.”
Fire burned beneath my skin and I spun on my heels, heading back to the master bedroom. Aidan’s heavy footsteps followed behind me, slow but sure.
I didn’t look back until I was in the kitchen, my hands spread out on the granite, my breathing ragged.
“I don’t want you to leave me over this.” His deep voice made me jump even though I knew he was there. “I can’t predict the future any more than you can, I just wanted you to know where my head is. I don’t want to hide anything from you.”
I shook my head, processing his words before I pushed off the counter and spun to face him. “I’m not leaving you, I just…I wasn’t prepared for this conversation.”
He seemed to measure his words carefully before responding, but I gave him time. “I think I’ve learned lately that time doesn’t matter. I told you before I wanted to do this right, and I like where we’re going. I know we have time, but I don’t want you worrying about anything with me. We’ve been together for only a few months, and I know they haven’t been easy or necessarily happy ones, but you forget that I’ve watched you for two years, wanted to ask you out for two years.”
“Aidan…” My head was foggy and heavy, and while what he was saying was beautiful, it wasso much morethan anything I’d intended to delve into over his lunch hour.
“Why’d you come here today?” he asked, pushing off the doorway to the kitchen until he was in front of me. His hand reached out and gently brushed a lock of my hair behind my ear.
I tried to think of my reason. Some of it was out of boredom because I’d been helping out at Kate’s Kakes the last few weeks since school got out, but it still left me with a lot of time on my hands.
But it was more than boredom that had led me here. So I was honest when I looked up at him.
“Because I missed you.”
He grinned, that slow and easy smile I was beginning to see all the time now. I ate it up like chocolate and my stomach flipped. “I miss you, too, when I’m at work.”
Suddenly changing directions, he said, “Let’s go to Chicago next weekend.”
“What?”
I felt like I’d missed a step.
“Yes. Chicago. Derrick and I used to go, and we were supposed to…” His voice trailed off and I remembered Derrick’s birthday and opening day for the Cubs. “I still want to take you. Share some of that with you.”
“Why?” I rasped, my body buzzing with a strange sensation.
“Because I like being with you and I want to share things with you that I enjoy.” He leaned down, brushing a kiss against my lips and then back to my ear before I could blink. With his head in the crook of my neck, his tongue darted out and licked my skin.
