Page 8 of Chaos
We get on our bikes and ride back to our street. I was hoping that the thrill of a ride would help heal some of the guilt and anger in me, but not even this could take it away. Riding has always been my favorite thing to do, but it feels different tonight.
I pull into my laneway and look over at the dark house next door. Police are all gone, probably on their way to the hospital to question Serena. The neon yellow police tape is still blocking off the entrance to the house. Odin walks up next to me, and we just stare into the abyss. I duck my head, shame filling me that this is all my fault. A growl escapes me. Guilt is not an emotion I have ever dealt with before. I don’t like it.
Odin and I tear our eyes away from Serena’s house and finally take steps towards mine. I expect the house to be quiet. That my dad would still be at the clubhouse banging some poor girl. So, when I open the door and see my dad, Ryker, and Axel sitting on the couch with beers in their hands, laughing at something, I am beyond surprised. They were pissed with us earlier, but the way they are smiling now you wouldn’t be able to tell.
“Where have you guys been?” My dad asks, but still not looking at us.
“Probably went to go fuck that Valerie chick.” Ryker chuckles to himself, earning a smile from the other two.
Axel turns around, confusion in his eyes. “Where is Zeus? Is he still getting lucky with that girl?”
I internally groan, wishing they weren’t here. I just wanted to come home, have a shower, and collapse into bed. Instead, I have to deal with these three -probably drunk- assholes. I ran my hand through my hair, trying to figure out what to say. I don’t want to tell them the truth about where we were. That would just cause too many questions. I still haven’t figured out their interest in Serena or her mom, but they are definitely interested in both.
They start laughing with each other, talking about us sleeping with Valerie and Melanie. One thing a father should never do is fist-bump his friends while talking about their sons having sex.
I glanced over at Odin. He looks just as annoyed and exhausted as I feel. I turn back to our fathers and open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. My father stops laughing and finally turns around. His smile drops when he sees the blood on my hands.
“What the fuck happened? Did the Brotherhood attack?” My dad asks, causing the other two to turn to us too. They finally take in our appearances. I have the most blood on my hands, but Odin looks shell-shocked and is zoned out completely.
I turn back to our dads and sigh. I have to tell them something. When they saw us a couple of hours ago, we had already cleaned up from torturing that would-be rapist, so I can’t blame it on that. If I lie and tell them the Brotherhood attacked, that will raise too many questions. I have no choice but to tell them the truth.
“Serena was attacked tonight.” I sigh. All three of them got to their feet and started rapidly firing questions at me. “Someone broke into her house and shot her. She is in the hospital right now.”
I can feel tears welling in my eyes, guilt consuming me from the inside out. I never meant for any of this to happen. I just wanted her to be scared so she would come running to us. I wanted her to need our help so she would have no choice but to spend time with us. I knew if she spent time with us, she would eventually fall into my bed.
I made that stupid plan when this was just a bet, but things have changed for me. I like the girl. More than I have ever liked anyone before. I always told myself I could never love someone, but I know I could with Serena. She is everything I have ever wanted and more. She is a queen that I would gladly get on my knees for.
Our dads were still shouting, but I tuned them out. Odin isn’t saying anything either. He is trying to stay strong, but I can see him breaking. I hate that I hurt my brothers. They are everything to me, and I did something to hurt them. I have never done that before.
I hear the door slam shut and see that our dads are gone. I have no clue where they went, but I am glad they are gone. I don’t want to deal with them right now.
I storm off to my room, Odin following behind. I turn the lights on and can’t help but look out my window into Serena’s room. The lights are still on, and the window is still open. Guilt is consuming me again.
Odin falls on my bed, his head buried in the pillow. I don’t know what to do, so I stand awkwardly by my door. I should be able to comfort my friend. I have always been able to before, but knowing I caused this pain is unbearable. I hear the faint sound of Odin crying into my pillow.Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I have fucked everything up.
I push off the door frame and walk over to my desk and grab the bottle of Jack. I plop down on the bed beside Odin and take a massive swig. The alcohol burns, but it is nothing compared to everything else going on. I drink until my head starts to feel fuzzy and lightness courses through me. Odin is still silently crying next to me. I look down at my friend and wish I could fix everything.
I place the bottle on my bedside table and lie down next to him. I turn to my side and stare at my broken friend. I don’t think. I just pull his body into mine and hold him.
We stayed like that for a while. I let him get everything out that he needs to. When his body stops shaking from his tears, Odin looks up at me. I kiss his forehead and hold him tightly. I don’t know what to do right now, which is something I have never felt before, but I will make this better.
“Do you think this was Dante?” Odin’s voice is small. The sadness is still evident in his voice.
“I don’t know. It makes some sense. The best way to hurt us would be to hurt the ones we care about.” The lie tastes like poison on my tongue. I never wanted to lie to my friends. I never wanted her to get hurt. I screwed up. “I promise that we will find the fucker that shot her, and we will kill him, even if it is Dante. I promise everything is going to be all right.”
“I want to be the one to kill him,” Odin says, his voice full of anger.
I nodded my head. I know I am the reason that this all happened, but no one can ever know. I just need to find the real stalker and make sure he is dead before anyone else finds him. If he is dead, the secret dies with me. I will never let my boys find out the truth. This secret will go to the grave with me.
That’s why I have to frame Dante or find the real stalker before anyone can figure out what I did.
Thoughts and plans race through my mind, trying to pick the best one to get me to my end goal. Keep my brothers and get the girl.
Once I have her, I am going to change. I am going to become the man that Serena deserves. I don’t want anyone to find out what I did, but I will make this up to her.
