I was in the hospital for a few days after I woke up, but I spent a lot of time there seeing different specialists. My dad was never around. He wasn’t there for me or my mom. I think that was the final straw for her, and when I left the hospital, she served him with divorce papers. My dad didn’t even care. He didn’t fight for custody of me. He just went on with life like nothing had changed.
Mom’s life changed so much in such a short time. She got a new job so she could properly provide for us- my dad didn’t pay child support or anything. She rented a house for us, the same house we have today. Now she owns it.
My mom got a job at the local hospital. After spending so much time there after my accident, it became her second home. They offered her a job working in the office. I had to beg her to take a job there. She was terrified to leave me alone, especially with my father.
Not that I blame her. My father is a monster in his own way. Odin’s dad was terrible, forcing him to kill at a young age. Midas’s dad was abusive, trying to create the perfect protégé. My dad was different. He mostly ignored me unless he needed something. Mainly, he needed me to get him beer or whatever alcohol he chose that night. Once he was drunk enough, he would ramble on about how I ruined his life. How Zane ruined his life.
He blames Zane for so much, including me. That’s a great thing for a child to feel. Unwanted. Unloved. I didn’t matter. I was a mistake he wishes he had never made. I know I am only here because of Zane. That’s not a secret, never has been.
It was my mom and me against the world. That’s how it felt at least. I had my brothers, but they couldn’t help at the time. They were there for me in the ways they could be. Distracting me when I need it. Spending most of their time at my mom’s house with me. We had always been ride or die for each other, but that proved it to me. Pops was there for me too. He helped my mom however he could. Bringing groceries or home-cooked meals when mom worked late. Fixed up her old beater when it would stop running. Letting me stay at his house after school if it was needed. He and his wife, Celeste, were the grandparents I always wanted.
Being struck by lightning changed everything about me. I stopped feeling. Pain was something I could feel, but emotions became nonexistent to me. The doctors said it was neurological, and one day I would be able to feel again. As I grew older, nothing ever changed. Emotions were foreign to me. I stopped believing what the doctors said. I would never feel anything again. Or at least, until Serena showed up.
Before her, I didn’t feel anything. Joy. Pain. Happiness. Love. I didn’t feel them. I was blank. A shell of a person. Just walking around, but never getting anything out of life. It’s why I threw myself into the club. I knew I would be an asset to my dad. I didn’t have a problem with the dark and dirty stuff. It never bothered me. I became the exact thing he wanted, a soldier to order around that would dutifully follow all orders. I wasn’t- and still am not- a fan of pain for unnecessary reasons. I am a monster, but not a total monster.
The name Zeus came a couple of days later when my dad finally arrived at the hospital. I have a huge scar on my back that looks like lightning in the sky. Dad declared that it was a sign that I never should have been named Duncan. He started calling me Zeus after that, and the name stuck.
The only person who still calls me Duncan is my mom. Midas and Odin used to, until I told them that I wasn’t that kid anymore. Duncan died that day. I wasn’t the same kid, and I didn’t want to be reminded of him ever again. I turned into the kid that my dad always wanted after that. I wasn’t emotional. I didn’t care about anything.
The only things I cared about were my friends and my mom, but I couldn’t show them. I think that did more harm to my mental health growing up. I wasn’t like everyone else around me, and I knew it. All I wanted was to fit in again, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. Thankfully, bullying wasn’t a huge issue. Of course, there would be the odd comment or joke made about me when we were younger, but once we hit high school, it stopped completely.
Mom sent me to therapy for years, but it didn’t help. I couldn’t talk to anyone about how I felt. I didn’t know how I felt. I still don’t.
Serena reaches her hand out and places it on my thigh as my mom keeps telling her the story. Normally, when people hear what happened to me, all I see is pity in their eyes, but not Serena. All I see in her eyes is acceptance and love. I grip her hand, squeezing it three times.
My mom used to do that to me when I was growing up. It was her way of telling me she loved me. It was the only way I could say it back to her. The words were hard for me to say, and showing them was harder. But that one little thing my mom showed me was the only way I could communicate how I felt.
I love Serena, and I want to tell her with my words, but I don’t know how. One day I will figure it out.
Serena
We spent the next few hours talking with Zeus’s mom until she had to leave for work. His mom reminded me of my mother. She is so warm and welcoming. Easy to talk to. Beyond kind. I can see where Zeus gets all those qualities from now. I have had the displeasure of being around his dad enough to know it wasn’t from him.
From what I learnt tonight, Zeus lived with his mom after the divorce. His dad barely spent time with him unless he had to. I couldn’t imagine what that must have been like for Zeus. To have a parent not want you. I know I don’t have a father, but it’s not like he decided not to be here. My heart broke for Zeus when his mom mentioned that to me.
After she left, Zeus gave me a tour of his home. It’s a sweet two-bedroom house. It may be small, but they didn’t need more than that. Plus, you can feel the love here. It’s not just a house, but it is a home.
Bailey has so many pictures of Zeus around the house. I love getting a glance into his life growing up. What I hated seeing was that it’s obvious when the accident happened. He went from such a smiley little boy to a blank-faced kid. He tried to smile in pictures, but it was clunky. Like he was unfamiliar with it anymore. It didn’t matter because you could still see the happiness and love in his eyes.
The last room Zeus shows me is his bedroom. I don’t know what I expected it to look like, but this room fits him to a tee. The walls are painted a deep navy blue. There is a queen-sized bed with black sheets on one wall, and the opposite wall is a large dresser with a TV on top. In one corner of his room is a massive computer setup with three screens. I don’t know the first thing about computers, or at least not to the extent of his setup.
I walk around, taking in the bare walls and tidy room. Nothing seems to be out of place. Everything is so meticulous. I walk over to his desk with the computer. There is a manual on top of his desk that says Harley. I guess these are for his bike.
I feel his arms wrapped around my waist and his chin on the top of my head. “I like to know how things work and how to fix them. Pops was the one who got me into working on motorcycles with him.”
“I wish I could have met him.” I wistfully say.
“So do I. He would have loved you.” Zeus sighs.
Zeus says he doesn’t feel much, but I can see the sorrow in his eyes. I kiss his cheek, hoping to give him some comfort. He smiles at me. His arm was around me as I lay my head on his chest. We stand there for a while. Soaking each other in.
I wonder what it would have been like if Pops were still alive. What would he have thought of me? Would he approve of our relationship? From the stories I have been told, I like to think he would have. He was a hippie. A free love spirit. So was his wife.
They seem like warm, welcoming people. The perfect grandparent figures for the guys to grow up with. A saving grace for them when home became too much. As much as I want to meet him, I want to thank him more. Thank him for protecting three little boys who couldn’t do it for themselves.
Zeus led me to his bed. We lie on top of the comforter, pulling a throw blanket over us to cuddle under. Zeus grabbed the remote off his bedside table and asked me what I wanted to watch, which shocked me. I tried to hide it from my face, but he caught it. He doesn’t comment, just giving me a look like he wants to murder Evan in his sleep.
We scroll through streaming services until we find something we both would like, a cheesy comedy movie. Once the movie is on, we fall into a comfortable silence as we watch it.
