Page 51 of Chaos
Mom continues to look at Serena like she is a ghost or something. Like she is looking into the past. I want to ask about it, but Serena asks a question I wish she didn’t.
“Who is Duncan?” Serena’s voice is inquisitive.
Fuck.With that name comes the story. Everyone around town already knows what happened. It made the local paper, and I knew one day Serena would find out. But a small part of me didn’t want her to know. It’s not like it’s embarrassing or anything. Just traumatic.
“Duncan is Zeus’s birth name.” My mom answers before taking a sip of her coffee. “Zane, Ryker, and Axel all wanted their sons to be named after kings. Hence, Midas and Odin. Axel never could decide what he wanted to name our son. We fought about it for months. In the end, he wasn’t at the hospital when I had Duncan, but I kept his wish. I named him after King Duncan from Macbeth. That didn’t go over well with Axel. But after his accident, his father changed his name. Saying it was a sign from Zeus himself.”
I can see the curiosity in Serena’s eyes, wanting to ask what happened. She looks at me, making sure I am all right with asking. I want to say no, but I don’t think I would ever be able to say no to her. I look at my mom, nodding my head, letting her know it’s alright to tell the story.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. Everything in my life changed that day. Nothing was ever the same again. Some good and some bad. Mom starts telling the story, but I don’t hear her. Too lost in the memory of that night.
Mommy and Daddy are fighting again. They always seem to fight. Every time they think I’m not around, they fight.
I am standing in the hallway, just outside their bedroom door. Everything is so dark, the only light coming from the small crack in their door.
I can’t see anything, but I can hear them. I could hear them from my room down the hall. I was supposed to be asleep, but I was hiding under my covers with a flashlight, reading the new book that mommy bought me.
I could hear the shouting, and I wanted to stay in my room, but the last time this happened, mommy got really hurt. I don’t want mommy to be hurt. I need to protect her. Even from Daddy.
“Were you with her again?” Mommy’s voice is quiet, like she is about to cry.
Mommy cries way too much.
“Does it fucking matter?” Daddy yells back. “But if you must know, I was at the clubhouse fucking an eighteen-year-old slut.”
I can hear mommy crying now. I peek through the crack in their door. Mommy is sitting on her bed, her hands covering her face, but I can see the tears running down her cheeks. Daddy is standing at the end of the bed, staring at Mommy. He looks happy. Why is Daddy happy that Mommy is crying?
“I never wanted this life. I never wanted that kid. The only reason he is here is because of Zane. Because he was dumb enough to cheat on the love of my life and drive her away. You mean nothing to me. Duncan means nothing to me. This isn’t what I wanted. I wish I had never gotten you pregnant. You and Duncan are the worst mistake of my life.”
I step away from the door and slowly make my way down the hall to my room. I knew Daddy wasn’t always happy with me, but he didn’t want me.
I stop the tears that want to fall.
It’s my fault that Mommy and Daddy are fighting. Daddy said so. If I weren’t around, they would be happy. If I weren’t here, they wouldn’t fight.
There is only one thing I can do to make them happy.
I quietly close my bedroom door. I grab my backpack off the hook on the back of my door. I grab as many clothes as I can fit in my bag. I stuff it so full and zip it close.
I can’t go through the front door. They would hear me leave. Instead, I open my bedroom window and push out the screen, climbing out and falling into the bushes below.
I don’t know where to go, but I have to leave. It’s the only way my parents can be happy. I am the reason they are mad and sad all the time.
I want to go to Midas' or Odin’s houses, but their dads would just take me back. They can be just as mean as my Daddy. It’s not safe to go there.
I start walking down the street. It’s so dark, and the only lights are from the odd house with its outside lights on. I just keep walking with nowhere to go.
The moon quickly disappears as the clouds cover it. The sound of thunder booms, scaring me. I start running, hoping to find somewhere to go before it starts raining.
I run, finally thinking of a place I can go. If I run to school, I can stay under the play structure to hide from the rain. I’m almost there, but the rain starts coming down hard. I can see lightning in the sky, and the thunder is so loud, scaring me.
I’m almost there, almost to the playground. I can be out of the rain and get dry. My feet hit the sand as the crack of thunder deafens me and a bolt of lightning strikes down.
I feel nothing and then everything. My body hurts. I scream out in pain.
Suddenly, everything goes black. I can’t see anything or hear anything.
I don’t know how much time passed after being struck by lightning. When I woke up in the hospital, Mom was sitting next to my bed. She sat by my bed for days, while my dad only came once when I woke up.
