Page 43 of Desperate Haste
Malcolm, please explain to me why my wife is asking me if I knew that you have tattoos next to your dick and if I’ve ever considered getting some in the same spot.
Kolbi:
I’m more interested in the fact that she told us you were at Ophelia’s all weekend and you failed to tell any of us this?
Connie:
What the fuck?
Since when do you have dick tattoos?
I do not have dick tattoos you fuckwad.
I just have tattoos next to my dick.
Hank:
And why does my WIFE know this?
Listen man, she walked in on me unannounced. It’s not my fault I had just gotten out of the shower and she caught me with my pants down.
Kolbi:
What’s going on with you and Ophelia?
Connie:
Yeah, Malcolm, care to share with the class?
Hank:
I should fucking deck you.
Oh great, she’s now asking if we can go on a double date with you and Ophelia.
Fat chance of that happening.
Kolbi:
So you two *aren’t* dating?
Connie:
Malcolm doesn’t ‘date’, remember?
I’d happily date her if she’d let me.
Fuck, I’d call her my girlfriend if she wasn’t totally against it.
Hank:
She won’t let you call her your girlfriend?
Kolbi:
Oh my god are you dating…you?
Connie:
