Page 52 of Feral Werewolves
Fuck.
Tears blinded my eyes. I pushed between them, down the hall, and out onto the lawn.
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paladin
“HEY,” I WHISPERED, sitting down next to her. Tentatively, I touched her shoulder.
She shrugged me off, hunching up, closing off from me.
I got that. I knew how it was not to want to be touched. “Um, this part of the yard, it’s really visible from the road, and Kestrel said I should tell you that if they see you and they know you’re out here—”
“Right,” she muttered. “They’re going to come and kill you guys and take me away to do whatever awful things they want to do to me. Which I’ll probably even like, anyway, because it makes no sense that I’m out here saying I’m in love with you guys, anyway. None at all. I bet my stupid tithe senses will make me fall in love with those wolves, too. How’s this mating stuff work, anyway? If it’s like real wolves, I can leave you guys and find another mate if I really want to, you know.”
“I thought you wanted to stay,” I said.
She turned to look at me. “Is it wanting if you don’t have any control over it? If it doesn’t make any logical sense? If it’s just some out-of-control sensation in your body that takes you over?”
I didn’t know what to say to that.
She got up, brushing at the jogging pants I’d given her to wear. “Where should I pout so that I’m out of sight ofanyone, Paladin?”
I got up, too. “You’re not pouting,” I said, sure that she wasn’t.
“What am I doing then?” She started walking across the yard, back towards the porch.
“I don’t totally know why you’re upset,” I said. “But I know that everything you’ve been through recently has been a lot, and that you’re justified to feel however it is you are feeling. And if you do want to go home, I’ll take you there. I’d do anything for you.”
She gave me a small smile. “Why?”
“Because it’s right,” I said. “It feels right, for me to take care of you, protect you, keep you happy. Nothing’s ever felt so right in my entire fucking life.”
She sighed.
“But, the truth is, I don’t want you to go,” I said, hanging my head.
She sighed again.
Shit, shouldn’t have said that.
She reached the porch, climbed onto it, and sat down on one of rocking chairs sitting there. “Too conspicuous here, you think?”
“I…” I shrugged. “I’ll ask Kestrel.” I started to go inside.
“What is it with you two?” she said, before I could open the door. “Why do you let him tell you what to do?”
I let go of the door and turned back to her. “He’s the leader.”
“You met him, and he said, ‘I want to order you around,’ and you said—”
“Well, no,” I said. “We were in a place together, where they made us do things for the entertainment of the other wolves. I was there before Kestrel, so I was used to it, but he was new, and it took people a while to get used to it. He got mad, though, and he let me come with him when he busted out of there. There were some… casualties in the escape.” I looked away, not liking to think about that.
She looked at me with a shocked sort of look on her face. “What kind of things for entertainment?”
I laughed. “Fucking and fighting, the usual.”
She furrowed her brow, thinking that over.
