“What are you doing here?” I ask. I cross my arms for fear I’ll hit him. “Didn’t I tell you yesterday that I don’t want to see you? You know what? You can go fuck yourself, Colton. Get the hell out of here. I don’t need you to clean up after me.” The kettle starts to whistle, but when I look inside my pantry, I realize I have no tea. “Fuck!” I slam the pantry shut and walk away.
“Where are you going?” I’m putting my shoes on as he approaches. “Come sit down so we can talk.”
“I don’t want to talk to you ever again. Didn’t I tell you to have your lawyer call my lawyer?” As of yet, I have no lawyer. I’ve never needed one, but I’m sure I can find one quickly. A jaded female lawyer who’s been divorced three times and hates men. I stand up straight and the room starts to spin. He catches me before I fall and carries me bridal style back to bed.
He sets me down gently and says, “I’m going to get you a doctor.” He texts something on his phone, puts it down, and lifts a hand to my forehead to check my temperature. I swat his hand away, and he leans down to kiss my forehead. The tender movement shocks me, but I’m too nauseous to fight him right now.
“Can you get my phone? I’ll just text my dad. You can go.” He sighs loudly, puts his hands on his hips, and looks down at me.
“I’m here. I’m going to take care of you.” He sits next to me and gently takes my hands. “It’s only fair since I’m the one who did this to you.” I look away from him, but when he tries to put my hands to his face, I pull them away. “Your hands are ice cold, Queen Vee.” I will myself to not admit how much I’ve missed hearing that nickname. “And don’t take this the wrong way because you’re the most beautiful woman on earth, but you look awful. I'm worried about you.”
I bristle at his words and finally look at his face. He probably looks worse than me. He hasn’t shaved, his hair is a disaster of tangled curls. It’s gotten so long, it reaches past his ears now.
“You’re not worried about me. Not beyond me being an incubator for your baby, right?”
“Do you know how much I love you? If you did, you wouldn’t say that.”
I yank the covers off and hop off the bed but fall into his arms when the room starts to spin. He lifts me back onto the bed and sits next to me. “Please, don’t try to get up again.”
“Where’s Evan? You should be with him,” I tell him.
“Mama and Charlie got here last night. They are with him.” My eyes narrow at him. I can see the worry and concern on his face, and I know it’s for me, but I’m not ready to admit that yet.
“Why are they here?”
“They know. They saw the same social media posts I did, and they wanted to be here for me. For us. Look, I’m sorry about yesterday. I saw the posts and I reacted without thinkin’ and confronted you. I should—”
“You should have approached me like a human being, Colt.”
“I thought you were going to make certain decisions without me,” he admits.
“Yeah, like what decisions?” I press. I know what he was thinking, but I want to hear him say the words. When he doesn’t, I say, “So you thought you’d take that choice away from me by telling my entire family. If you think you can try to control me, you don’t know me.”
He stands and sighs, probably doing his best to gather his thoughts. “I would never try and control you or tell you what to do. I fell in love with you the way you are. You’re perfect to me, Queen Vee. Perfect. All I want is to have you back in my life. I want things to go back to how they were before that last game. You can add yesterday to a long list of things I want to fix, but I’m only human.” He sits next to me and takes my hands. “Give me a chance to prove myself to you.”
I open my mouth to tell him that I already did that, and he failed miserably, but he puts a hand to my lips. “I know. One chance. I had my one chance, but I’m begging for another. We’re having a baby, Queen.” One of his hands finds its way to my stomach. “A baby. We made him or her together.” He caresses me. “We created this baby in love, and I want us to raise it together. As a family.” His phone vibrates, and he picks it up, walks over to the window, and carries on a conversation.
There’s never been a part of me that’s wanted to be a single mother. I didn’t even know if I wanted to be a parent until I suspected I was pregnant. All I wanted to do was come home and go through the pregnancy here, but that still didn’t stop me from freaking out once it was confirmed. I spent that night thinking of ways I was going to tell Colt, yet social media took that away from me.
“Okay. I’ll get her there.” He ends the call and says, “Our team doctor is married to an OBGYN. She’s going to meet us at her office so she can examine you.” I start to sit up to argue, but he puts a hand up. “Look, you’re not well, and I’m worried about you. About you both. Please.” Another wave of nausea hits and I run to the bathroom. He doesn’t stay out this time. He leans down and strokes my back while I dry heave. Once I’m done and I rinse my mouth, he picks me up and helps me with my coat. I can barely put on my sneakers, and he helps me with that too before he carries me to his waiting car that drives us to the doctor’s office across the street from New York Presbyterian.
FIFTY-FIVE
She is admittedto the hospital. She can’t keep any food down. Dante has to pull over twice so she can throw up. Once she is examined, she is diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum which the doctor explains is extreme nausea and vomiting during the first trimester. I spend the next two days in the hospital with Vickie. Her family is in and out, often visiting her and her mother. Alicia is discharged the day after Vickie is admitted, and instead of going home, she spends the day with her daughter.
Between me, her family, and mine, she is never alone. She’s told to eat small meals and is prescribed anti-nausea medication. We don’t have any more fights, and she doesn’t ask me to leave. Not one single time. She let me listen in when the doctors come to examine her. She let Mama visit with her, and even allows Charlie into the room. We get our first ultrasound picture, and the entire family cheers when I show it to them. Tara forgets she’s mad at me and hugs me but quickly pulls away. This baby is probably the size of a pea, but he or she has so much love already.
Everyone is gone now. It’s just us. Her coloring is back to normal as is her breathing. She hasn’t thrown up in hours, and she’s in pajamas Tara brought for her. She looks away when I walk in, but I sit next to her.
“You should go home to Evan.” Always thinking about my son. Even the first night we met, she wanted to know why I was out and not at home with him.
“He’s so busy getting spoiled by Mama and Charlie, I’m probably the last person he wants home right now. I might tell him no.” I sit on the edge of the bed. It’s in a private room in a part of the hospital few know exists.
I reach over and take her hand. It’s warm. Unable to help myself, I lift it and put it to my cheek. She leaves it there, but only for a split second, before putting it down.
“Well, I’m tired,” she says, clearing her throat.
“I want you to come home with me when you get discharged. I want to take care of you. I want us to get back what we had before I screwed it up. I want you at my games when the season starts. I want to be at all your doctor’s appointments. I want to be the man you need, and in return, I will never, ever abandon you again. No matter what. No matter what happens, you will always be my queen. I’m sorry that I let you down before. I was selfish. I was only thinking of myself.” She looks down at me, and our eyes lock, but she looks away. I don’t say more. I don’t expect an answer tonight, but I want to show her that I’m not going anywhere. I sit on the sofa next to her bed. It’s a pullout, but I know I’m much too tall for it.
