“You don’t have to stay. I told you, I’m feeling better.”
“I’m not leaving this hospital until you do. We’re walking out together, and every single day I’m going to be the man you fell in love with.”
She shakes her head and looks away, but I take her not telling me to leave as a victory. I’d give anything to lie next to her and hold her in my arms, but she needs the bed, and we’re not there yet.
“I still don’t love you,” I say and hope and pray she will say it back.
“Don’t.” My heart breaks at the rejection, but I don’t let that stop me.
“I don’t. I don’t think about you either. I don’t want to lie next to you in that hospital bed and hold you.” I hold her hands and wait.
She sighs like a woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders. A weight I put there. “I’m not ready for that yet, Colt.” She didn’t say the words back, but I still sigh in relief.
“Yet? I can wait, Queen Vee. As long as you don’t tell me you don’t love me anymore.”
She continues to stare ahead. A lone tear rolls down her cheeks, and I swipe it away with my thumb. “If only I could turn my feelings off. Loving you is not something I can control at will. As much as I wish I could, I can’t.”
FIFTY-SIX
“CanI talk to y’all for a minute?” I ask John, Cheryl, Alicia, Alan, and Tara.
“Yes. I believe we have some things we want to say to you too,” Cheryl says. Her soft brown eyes turn on me, and she gives me a sad smile and a subtle nod.
“We sure do,” Tara says with a lot more hostility.
I haven’t left the hospital since Vickie was admitted, and I won’t until she’s discharged, which will be sometime today according to her doctor. I gesture for them to follow me, and we go into a small room a few feet down the hall. The five of them lean against the wall and cross their arms. I don’t know if they’re aware of how hostile they look. Maybe I should have Mama and Charlie here for backup. I lean against the opposite wall while I gather my thoughts. The speech I’ve practiced in my head disappears. I must have practiced it one hundred times last night while Vickie slept, but now I can’t remember a word of it.
“I’m sorry about how you found out. I shouldn’t have confronted Vickie like that in front of everyone. I want you to know that I love her and intend to make things right. Obviously, we still have some things to work on, but I’m—”
“You’re damn right you shouldn’t have confronted her that way,” Tara says. She crosses the room and points a manicured finger in my face. “You’re probably why she’s in the hospital right now with your caveman attitude and your assumption that it’s your right to tell her what to do. Let me tell you something—”
John takes Tara’s hand and says, “Let the man talk, Tara. He’s trying to apologize.”
“He can take his apology and shove it.” Tara crosses her arms and walks as far away from me as possible.
“You hurt my twin,” Alan says. “She’s tough, but she’s human, Chastain. She let you in and you disappointed her. And if you think you can control her, you’re an idiot.”
I hold my hands up and say, “I don’t want to control Victoria, not that I ever could. I’m not that man, but I’m human too, and I make mistakes just like everyone else. Give me a chance to fix them.”
“So, fix them,” Alan practically yells. “Why do you need to talk to us about it?” He looks at his watch and says, “I need to see my sister before my flight to Boston. Get on with this, Chastain.”
“Okay, I’ll make this quick. I’m asking you guys not to offer her to come home with you.” I look at John, Cheryl, and Tara when I say that. I know there’s no way Vickie would go home with Alicia. She’s not a source of comfort. Their expressions go from not friendly to hostile, but I speak before they can lay into me. “I want her to come home withme. She’s pregnant with my baby, and I want to be the one to take care of her. Please.”
They look around at each other and seem to have a conversation with just their eyes. It’s amazing how close and in sync the Taylors are with each other, especially the siblings.
“It’s not unreasonable, darlings,” Cheryl says. Always the voice of reason. I smile at her, and she smiles back. “We’re all human here,” she reminds everyone.
“I won’t tell her no if she asks,” John says. “That’s the best I can do.”
“Neither will I,” Tara replies, still as hostile as ever.
“Fair enough,” I tell them.
Alan doesn’t say another word to me, but he goes to see Vickie before he leaves for the airport. Alicia follows behind her son, but she gives me a look full of loathing before she leaves.
After about an hour, eager to see Vickie, I go to her room. Alicia is still there so I lean against the door and watch.
“I hope this baby is ready for three grandmothers,” Alicia says. She’s sitting on the edge of the bed and runs a hand through Vickie’s hair. “I thought Tara would be the first to have a baby, but life is full of surprises, huh?” She lets out a carefree laugh and rubs Vickie’s stomach.
