I nod as I let the words sink in. “Well, Colt, it seems like you had the people you wanted there. You know who wasn’t? Me. But that’s okay. It’s your surgery and you call the shots. And I swear, if you open your mouth and spout some macho crap about how you didn’t want me to see you when you were down, I will fucking scream. Here’s what I know about relationships. I’ve been around a pretty functional one for a long time now. You support each other. You lean on each other. You don’t push the other one away on some bullshit. I have to go now. Whatever we had is over. See?” I point at myself. “I get to decide that. I don’t wait around for anyone to decide where I’m going to fit in their life.” And I end the call before he can utter a single word. He calls right back, but I ignore it, put the phone on vibrate, and toss it on the couch.
I sit at the table, my face in my hands, and let the reality of the situation hit. After several minutes, I realize I’m doing something I haven’t done since I was a kid. I wipe away the tears, disgusted with myself at this sudden and unwanted burst of emotion.
I stand and go in the master bedroom. I lie on my back in the middle of the bed and stare at the ceiling. More tears fall, and I let them. I don’t bother to wipe them away. For this moment, I’ll allow myself to feel this pain, and then it will be time to move forward.
FORTY-FOUR
“Charlie,”I burst into the first-floor bedroom Mama had made up for him. He’s on his laptop, talking to a woman. He holds up a hand, and I shut up. He turns and looks at me, and he must sense my mood.
“Vanessa, thanks for talking with me, but it looks like my brother needs me. I’ll check in with you in a few days.” She waves at him and says something I can’t hear since he has on headphones. He waves at the screen and closes the laptop.
“That was my sponsor,” he explains. “What happened? Is Mama okay? Is it Evan?” He stands and rushes to me and helps me sit on the messy bed.
“They’re fine. I need you to drive me to Atlanta. Right now.” He eyes me. He knows Victoria is in Atlanta.
“That’s over two hours away. You can’t sit for that long this soon after your surgery.”
“Charlie, if you don’t take me, I’ll drive myself. She’s broken up with me. I can make her understand in person. We’ll take the Suburban and I’ll sit in the back and prop my leg on some pillows, but I’m going. Right now.” He runs a hand over his face, but he nods. I take the keys out of my pocket and toss them to him. “I mucked it all up.”
“We need a plan. Will she even let you in?” I stop short. He’s right. She won’t. I’ll have to have him break down the door. “And I can’t drive you. My license is still suspended, but I’ll call Sampson.”
While he types something on his phone, I say, “Evan. We’ll pick him up early from camp.” It’s perfect since Mama is out with Rosalie and is not here to ask questions or to judge me for being stupid. “She’ll be happy to see him. He’s our ticket in.” I should be ashamed for using my son, but these are desperate times.
It’s not the job in Mexico that’s an issue. That’s only a plane ride away, and it’s temporary. We can make that work. I don’t want to lose her, and I won’t.
FORTY-FIVE
The two-hour ridetakes almost five. Evan whines about leaving baseball camp early until he falls asleep in the back. We stop every half hour so I can walk and stretch my leg. Charlie walks by my side for support.
We also go to the wrong place. Of course, she would have changed locations. She must have known I’d come find her.
How would she know that the way you abandoned her? After all the work you did to get her, stupid.
It took three tries until Ethan picked up the phone, and it took another ten minutes for him to figure out her exact location, but he did.
Now, Charlie’s holding Evan’s hand and walking beside me while I maneuver the crutches. It’s six PM, and Evan’s complaining about being hungry.
I hold my breath and knock on the front door. There’s silence for about a full minute until I hear soft footsteps. I imagine she’s barefoot and walking against tiled floors.
“Hurry up, Vickie, I have to go pee!” Evan yells, and the door flies open.
She takes him from Charlie and slams the door in our faces. Charlie turns the knob, and we walk through the front door. “Oh my God, I’ve missed you,” she says. “You can use the bathroom right through there.” She points to a door and Evan runs off.
Just like I thought. She’s barefoot and in a yellow sundress. It’s short, several inches above her knees. My eyes travel up, past her stomach to the apex of her breasts. Her dress has a long V-neck, and I look straight down and lick my lips at the sight of her brown skin.
Our eyes lock briefly, but she looks away before I can read her expression. She looks a little thinner, but she’s still my Vickie. She’s still the same woman I fell heads over heels in love with all those months ago. She’d be with me right now if I’d stopped wallowing in my own pity.
“Vickie—” I begin. She takes a step closer and puts her palm in my face without looking at me.
“I’ll get to you in a second.” She takes two more slow steps toward Charlie. He visibly swallows and takes a step back. “You,” she points at him. He looks around the room as if he’s expecting someone to come out and save him. “You think it’s okay to go joyriding while drunk with a kid in the car? You think that’s okay?” He raises both of his hands.
“That’s not what happened,” he tells her.
“Oh?” She closes the rest of the space between them and looks up at him. If the situation were different, I’d find this funny. He’s almost twice her height, and in his day was a prime athlete. Even now, he might be on the thin side, but he’s as strong as an ox and can probably body slam someone twice his weight. But now he looks like he’s about to piss himself over a girl half his size. “How was it then? Enlighten me.”
He opens his mouth to talk, but she talks over him. “You have five seconds, and it better be good or you’re gonna catch these hands.” Charlie looks around, probably unsure of how to react to the angry woman in front of him.
“It wasn’t like that, Queen Vee. Evan snuck inside Charlie’s car. He had no idea he was in there until it was too late.”
