There was some guilt about how she was treating him, and she could see in his eyes that he had some sharp opinions on it too, but he didn’t push. It gave her a sense of comfort to know that things only happened when she went to him. But sometimes she found herself wishing he would push that line. She honestly didn’t know why she was so insistent on being the one to decide when and where they met, but it felt like she was controlling things. She tried to balance it by giving up all power to him in the bedroom, but somehow it still didn’t feel fair.
She had a variety of excuses, like bringing him dinner because she thought he might be too tired to cook, or some ranch business she just had to discuss with him that night. Both worked, but they actually did discuss the ranch quite a lot because he seemed interested in her ideas on how things should be run.
Interested, but not willing to do itallher way. It was obvious he was taking his position as the one in charge seriously, but they cautiously eased into a working partnership. She usually felt like he was at least hearing her thoughts, and that helped ease the sting from having to let him make the final decisions, at least most of the time.
Their first big argument happened in Sam’s office at the back of the main barn. The door was closed against the constant stream of noise from the horses, which was lucky since the raised voices would have attracted a lot of nosey listeners.
It had started simply enough with her suggestion that it was time to stop growing their own hay to mow and start buying it from local farmers. It was something that she'd pushed her dad to do for years and he'd always said no, but haying season was so exhausting and it required all hands to get the large fields cut and baled so every year she brought it up again.
“Look, I know my father was against buying what we could grow ourselves, but it just makes more sense. With everyone out in the fields for weeks, the rest of the work gets left undone and then there’s a big push to catch up on that once the hay is baled and covered for the winter.” She tried to sound reasonable as she made her case, but as she spoke Sam kept shaking his head.
“It’s not as simple as that, Charlie. We run on a tight margin as it is. You’re talking about a huge cost in comparison to the small amounts we have to buy now to make up for shortages.”
“So? We’d be able to sell all the machinery; that would make up for the initial cost. Then we clear out the equipment barn and expand our capacity for the horses to make up the money.” She had settled her butt on the corner of his desk and was looking down at him earnestly.
He sighed and dropped a stack of paperwork on the desk so he could lean back in the chair. “You really think it’s that easy?” He shook his head. “Your dad and I talked about this more than once and there’s more to it than you know. The machinery is old; we’ll make some cash sure, but not as much as you might be thinking. If it covers one year of feed, we’ll be lucky.”
“That’s enough time to increase the string and then…”
He held up a hand to cut her off. “Charlie, you haven’t even factored in the cost of renovating that barn. It’s just a huge open space right now. We’d need to put in stalls; not to mention running more pipes and water lines. It’s a big expense. We’d probably have to take out a mortgage to get it done right and horses aren’t a steady cashflow like the beef cattle.”
Her teeth were clenched with frustration as she listened to him dismantle her plans. Okay, maybe he had more experience than she did, but why were men so afraid to take a chance now and then? No matter what she tried he just wouldn’t give in. “Damn it, would you just listen to me?” It came out louder than she meant, and her eyes skittered towards the door to make sure it was shut.
“Charlie, look, we have an exhausting month of harvesting, true. Some stuff has to wait, that’s also true, but we have a system for this. A routine,” he pointed out. “In this line of work, you’re used to the slow times and busy times and you schedule around it.”
He’d begun messing with his hair the way he did when he was frustrated, and it was hard not to laugh when a vigorous ruffling left it standing up like a half-hearted mohawk. It was almost, but not quite, enough to shake her out of her pissy mood over being told no.
“We don’t have to do it all at once. We could slowly pare down. Right now, we buy maybe ten percent of our feed, right?” she asked.
“About that, in a normal year,” he agreed.
“Okay so what if we started selling off acres a little bit at a time and used the money to increase that percentage each year? Even if we went really slow,” and her tone made it clear that she thought taking that much time was stupid. “we’d be able to transition in about five years.”
“Charlie, we have five thousand acres of land, not counting the grazing fields. How are we going to sell that off in chunks? I’m not even sure the lawyer will authorize selling off pieces. And on top of all that, what am I supposed to do with the crew with less work to do until we hit the end of that five years and can expand? They have families to feed. You’re just not thinking this through.” It was obvious he was trying to be patient from the careful way he spoke, but she couldn’t help feeling patronized anyway.
She had an answer for at least part of that though, and with a smug smile she explained what she’d been doing. “Well, about the land, you know the Malvern’s farm borders ours and I spoke to them about selling them some land, along with a contract to sell us back hay from it at a discount. They thought it was a great deal, so they’re totally interested,” she said triumphantly.
His chair squealed as he sat back abruptly and gave her a look of disbelief. “You what?” Now his voice was the loud one. He didn’t quite shout the question, but it was close.
“I—I spoke to them about buying the land and then selling us hay below market price.” Suddenly nervous she stood up and moved away from the desk. Her arms crossed over her chest in a defensive gesture as if suddenly realizing he might be mad at her. “I didn’t commit to anything; I was just feeling them out. I know they made an offer years ago and I wondered if they were still interested is all.”
“Charlie. You had no right to do that,” he said grimly. “You…” he cut himself off and closed his eyes. His lips moved as he counted to ten. It was almost inaudible, but she could make out the soft numbers.
There was that nervous sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach; the one she got when she was in trouble. She tried to dismiss it, reminding herself that he wasn’t in charge of her anymore. Back in the old days he’d taken more control of her, and there’d been punishments when she pushed too hard, but that was back then. Now, it was just bedroom games.
So why did she feel like she should apologize quickly and promise not to do it again? She stuffed that impulse down hard and fixed a scowl on her face instead.
“Charlie, you don’t have the authority to talk about selling anything. I’m not even sureIhave that authority, not with the lawyer overseeing things for the next five years.”
“I’m telling you this will work. If you agree I’m sure the lawyer will, too!”
He had a look on his face like a headache was coming on and he was shaking his head before she even finished talking. “Charlie, you have never been involved in running things around here. You’ve got no clue—”
She interrupted, “Sure, not like I have a fucking business degree or anything.” The words were snappy and sarcastic. She hadn’t wanted the degree in the first place, but she’d been pushed into it and now no one would even let her use it. It was just one more thing pissing her off.
“Charlie, you need to watch your mouth.” There was iron in his voice but then he took a breath and continued in a calmer tone, “Look, I know you have a degree and I know you’re smart, smarter than me by a long shot, but experience matters when it comes to running a ranch. You know how we’ve been able to grow when other ranches have had to sell off? By doing everything we can for ourselves and keeping our expenses low.”
“I’ve read up on it! I’ve done a lot of research and run the numbers, so I know that…”
