Page 73 of Trusting the Fall
While we wait in line to be served, I spy the grumpy, tattooed bartender, Caleb’s brother. He’s with another guy I recognise from a few weeks ago. The one with different coloured eyes.
When we make our way to the front of the line, the brooding grump is right in front of us, ready to take our order.
“Hey, Lex. What can I get for you ladies tonight?” His deep, rumbling voice perfectly matches his rough exterior.
Tattoos cover his skin from his shirt sleeves all the way to his hands and stretch over his collar.
“Hi, Gage,” Lex says on a squeak.
“Can we get two kamikazes and two margaritas, please?” I ask, crossing my arms over the bar. Gage’s brows pitch up at the tall order before he gets to work concocting the drinks.
“So, we’re on a first name basis with the bartender now?” I whisper out the side of my mouth.
“Gage is the one who Dylan first contacted about stocking Legacy Malt, so he was at the party last night. It’s his new bar that’s being built next door to the casino.”
“He’s not closing this place though, right?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t think so. This is a new one for a different crowd. Dylan did well to get our distillery attached to a Heart family member.”
“I take it you mean Gage Heart as the bar owner and not Caleb Heart, your new investor who you have a massive crush on?”
“Yep.” She looks around as if hoping to find said crush. Everyone here tonight looks like they’re meant to be here. Not a vest or tie in sight.
Gage comes back to set the drinks in front of us, the pinched brow he forever wears still prominent.
Man, this guy must get a lot of headaches.
“You caught an Uber here, right?” he asks, more to Lex.
I guess they’re going to be friendly, with Dylan and Gage working so close together now.
“Yes. Claire has the app on her phone for when we need to get home.”
“Let me know when you’re going, okay?”
This protective side is unexpected. Looking at him closely, he’s probably the kind of guy I would have gone for in the past, but now, all I see is Leif.
All I want is Leif.
All the ways he challenges me, praises me, comforts me.
Fuck, I need to sort my head out about him. I can’t keep teetering on the edge of fear and valour.
I’ve spent my whole life avoiding love, keeping my heart locked tight behind my walls where it can’t be touched by lies, hurt and betrayal. For what? Avoiding the remote possibility I could go through the same thing my mum did? Because she told me all men ever do is lie and cheat?
If I devoted myself to a man who cheated, I’d make him regret it so fast, his head would spin. Then I’d take myself out and find a guy who’d do me right. I wouldn’t settle for that shit. I certainly wouldn’t stew over it and let it defeat me. And if he left me pregnant, you bet your arse I could handle that. Why the fuck have I been afraid this whole time?
If I’m going to do something about it, though, Leif would be the one to do it with. I don't know what I'm doing, how to be a person deserving of him, and I'm scared, but I don’t think it’s of falling.
That possibility has long passed. I’m on the flat of my back, knocked the fuck over, ladies, and there’s no getting up.
No. What I’m scared of—what I think I’ve been scared of for a while—is finding something, someone, that I'm terrified to lose.
Turning away from the bar with our drinks, Lex and I survey the space, and I notice a booth to the side free up.
“Quick! Booth!” I shout and make a mad dash for the leather-lined seats, almost losing half my cocktail as I dive into the space.
Lex follows at a more glacial pace, getting stuck behind people along the way before she gracefully drops down in the seat opposite me.
