“But I want to.”
I blink, turning his words in my head, over and over again, but no matter how much I try to convince myself it’s okay, I keep imagining the worst case scenarios.
“I know you’re currently thinking it all wrong,” he sighs sadly. “But I want to be in a normal relationship. Not one where he has to sleep here every time we want to spend a night together because we’re worried somethingmighthappen to me. And if something ever does happen, Ikram will know what to do. And he’ll call you right away.”
“Not helping.”
“Prue,” he pleads, finally turning to face me.
Pleads is the right word. To describe the tone of his voice, yes, but also the look on his face.
“I know you’re scared, but it’ll be fine.”
“How can you know?”
“I don’t. But I’m feeling happy for the first time in ages. And I know that despite your initial reluctance, you’re happy too.”
Am I? I despise the weather. I feel useless, and this house is a monstrosity.
But I do have people that I already see like friends. I do enjoy spending quality time with Jack, without it being all about medical appointments, or groceries, or helping him with the most basic of tasks when he’s having a badday. Just us, spending time together and talking as brother and sister. I do love working as a forensic sketch artist again, even though it would have been easier if I didn’t have to dodge Raphael everyday.
And Nate. I don’t know how it’ll turn out, but I’m excited about our date coming up.
Although, I feel guilty about wanting to hide it from Jack for now. And I think it’s the main reason why I force a smile and cave.
“Yeah, you’re right. Just let me know before you go so I can mentally prepare and do some damage control on my freaked out brain.”
The smilehegives me reaches his eyes.
“Good. And you know, if you ever want to… I don’t know, sleepover somewhere else, you’re free to do so.”
I force my face to stay neutral. Does he know about Nate and me going on a date? Or is he just saying that to imply that my lack of love-life is getting a little sad? Because it’s not. It’s actually getting more interesting by the day… But I can’t say that, because he’ll ask questions I don’t want to answer.
“Uh… Sure?”
“I mean for other reasons than you being drunk. Friday night doesn’t count.”
“Why would I be sleeping somewhere else? Oh, maybe a girl’s night. I could sleepover at Evie’s…”
Note to myself, ask Evie if she can cover for me Tuesday night… Jack will wonder why I’m not coming home after work, and let’s keep the date thing with Nate to ourselves.
“Sure,” he shrugs, turning back to his computer. “Or you could meet someone…”
“Oh, no… You know I don’t want to. We move around too much and… You know. I’ve got time, and I’m not ready.”
Lies. Big, fat, lies.I wonder if my nose is growing. It’s kind of itchy all of a sudden… I scrunch and scratch it discreetly.
“I’m not moving anymore. I have everything I need and love right here,” he says softly. “And I kind of want to tell you the same thing you said to me yesterday.”
“I say a lot of clever things, you’re going to have to be more specific.”
“You deserve some happy things too. I know you’re scared of beinghurt, but there’s nothing stopping you from loving and letting other people love you.”
“That’s low, using my almost own words against me,” I grumble, focusing back on my absurd drawing.
He turns his head, just enough to look at me from the corner of his eye.
“I’m just saying, I’m sure there’s more to life than just me and work. You’ve made friends, haven’t you?”
