Page 22 of The Wonder of You
Phoenix and I again in a candid shot looking at each other, the glow of the circus behind us.
A group shot… Phoenix with his arm around me. Lukas holding Maudie. Toni and Henry smiling beside each other.
“Phoenix, this can’t be me.” Tears fill my eyes.
“It is you,” his response is simple, but so clear.
“How? How can I be this person? Born again with the same name? It’s not possible.”
Terror fills me again; it surges through so fast that the only thing I can think to do is run. It’s the only thing I know how to do when I am confused, afraid and not knowing the answers. I just want to avoid things, act like they never happened, ignore them until they catch up to me.
I try to move past Phoenix, but he grabs my arm gently to stop me.
“Stop, it’s okay,” he whispers. “I’m here and this is home, you just need to remember it clearly enough to know it happened.”
This is home.
“I’m scared,” I whimper. Phoenix doesn’t reply. Instead, he pulls me into him and wraps his arms protectively around me. I feel my head coming above water. I am able to breathe steady and it’s Phoenix who pulls me out from the waves that threaten to crash into me again.
I lean out and Phoenix kisses my forehead. “Coffee?”
I nod.
Minutes later, I sit with my hands around the warm coffee in front of me. It’s just what I needed, and somehow, Phoenix knew that. I guess he really does know me.
Phoenix is sat opposite me; he doesn’t look as comfortable as me, though. One leg pokes out slightly, as if he’s preparing himself for me to run away again. But I don’t want to run now. I want more answers.
“Are you an immortal, Phoenix?” I feel silly asking, but I know I have to. He nods solemnly.
“Yes.”
“I was an immortal in this past life, that is what you’re saying? I’m right in believing immortals live forever? So, how did I… how did this happen? Did I die?”
“A long time ago, some witches approached me. They wanted money and thought I could pay them to work here. Our staff has never changed though; it’salways been the same people that I hired from the very beginning. We’ve never needed more. The only people who start working here fresh are family members who are born into it all, like Maudie. Or maybe a partner, like when Lukas first met Cheri. I told the witches no and they were angry with me.” He takes a deep breath. It’s obviously a difficult memory for him. “They came back again and again until I got firmer with them. I not so politely told them to piss off.”
I hold Maudie back, wrapping a protective arm over her to keep her safe with me. I know she wants to follow her father, but I can’t let her get closer to those women in the brown coats. They scare me and I don’t know how Phoenix is managing it. Lukas tries helping, but the witches immediately mock his appearance which makes Maudie cry. Henry comes over with his loud, projected voice trying to keep things calm. Toni is quick on her feet, stomping in her big boots to tell the women to back off.
The rest of the memory is a blur.
“They cursed us…well, they cursed you and Maudie, a punishment to the rest of us. They took you from me. I want you to have the memory clearly, which is why I am taking you to Arabella later. She will be able to show it to you properly. I don’t want you to experience it again, but I think it’s the best way for you to remember everything.”
“Were they really witches? Real witches?”
“Yes, we’ve always had permission to use the mortal world. Well, Arabella does but Gabriel knows we’re here. As long as she’s moving us across worlds for the circus, then it’s okay. Otherwise, we have no reason to be here and he wouldn’t let us. We were in the mortal world, this world,thatday.” Phoenix closes his eyes and rubs his forehead. After a deep breath, he continues, “I don’t know how the witches got through.”
“The mortal world? There are two worlds?” I ask, the disbelief is clear in my voice, but this is hard to take in. Phoenix drinks from his coffee and nods.
“Well, what if they come back?” I ask. The idea of witches sounds terrifying, especially ones powerful enough to curse people and make an immortal person die.
“They won’t. They all died, fairly recently, actually.”
I gasp.
“I didn’t kill them, although I wish I did,” he adds. “There was a fire in our world. Lucifer did it.”
“Lucifer? As in the Devil?” I ask.
“Yeah.” Phoenix leans back and sighs, as if he hasn’t just told me that what I only believed to be folklore and made-up stories is actually true.
