I shove my arms through my jacket and pull my boots back on and then I walk through the icy fields and towards the bunkhouse. A few flakes swirl in the air. Most of the horses are tucked into their warm stalls, though tomorrow I’m sure they’ll have a blast playing in it. Maggie and Buckles are still outbecause they hate being inside for too long and with their winter coats these temperatures won’t bother them.
I start to think about what I agreed to earlier today with Candice. I’m more than happy to comply with her request—frankly I can’t believe I almost didn’t agree at first. Letting some steam off is the perfect solution to the electric chemistry between us. There’s no denying that I want Candice. Badly. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin, right?
But the part I keep coming back to is when she said that she always gets anxious when she has feelings for someone, but she feels perfectly comfortable with me. It’s not that I’ve ever thought Candice would have feelings forme, it’s just that…well, the wound Kerry left is still hurting, I guess. Candice’s words are just another reminder to me that I’m doomed to be like my father: a player. A heart breaker. At least, unlike him, I’ve never cheated. Though I’ve only ever been in one relationship so it’s not like I’ve been tested much.
If Candice and I ever turned into something more serious, I’m positive I’d fuck it up. It’s a good thing, actually, that she doesn’t have any feelings for me beyond hatred. I won’t be able to hurt her this way.
“Hey! Nathan, wait up.”
I turn and see that Candice is jogging across the field towards me.
“What?” I ask, wincing at the sharp tone of my voice. It’s not her fault that I’m this fucked up inside.
“You practically ignored me for all of dinner and I want to know why,” she says, tone equally sharp. “And I want to know when our first lesson is going to be.”
I hastily cobble together an excuse for myself and say, “I ignored you because that’s what you and I do. We barely tolerate one another, and letting on that our relationship has changed toinclude other things isn’t wise if we want to keep Beau in the dark about this.”
Her mouth falls open in an “oh.” Just looking at those lips—pink, with a perfect cupid’s bow—heats me to my core. Her hair is unbound down her back, pale and gleaming as the moonlight strikes it, and her cheeks are rosy in the cold. She looks ethereal.
“Right,” she says, “that makes sense.”
Around us, more flakes start to swirl.
“It’s the first snow,” I say quietly.
“It is,” she says, smiling. “It’s a pain in the ass by the time it’s January and it’s been snowing for three months and I hate driving in it, but the first time around I don’t mind it so much.”
“Me too,” I say. “My brothers and sister and I always used to have snowball fights on the ranch. It was one of the only times when—” I cut myself off from saying that it was one of the only times when our dad would play with us. I’m not ready to talk to anyone about that. Maybe not ever. My siblings understand, and that’s enough.
“The only times when what, Nathan?” Candice prompts.
“Nothing. It’s nothing,” I say, forcing myself to smile my most charming, convincing smile. I reach out and pull her towards me. “Now, about that lesson.”
I lean in and capture her mouth with mine.
Kissing Candice is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Sure, I’ve kissed women before, but I’ve never kissed anyone likethis.Tenderly. Gently. With care and emotion and excitement. Her mouth is soft and pliant, and as she kisses me back, parting my lips with hers, I feel my heart race.
Just one kiss from her has me on fucking fire—like I’m fifteen again and kissing my first girlfriend. Everything with Candice is new, unexplored territory and all I know is that I want more.
She pulls away, and smiles up at me. Snowflakes dust her lashes and I resist the urge to lean in and gently kiss them away.
“Let’s continue this tomorrow night?” she suggests. “Beau will be away playing cards that evening with some of the guys in town.”
“He invited me to come to that,” I say, though I’m already thinking of ways I can cancel. I need more of the woman in front of me.
“Tell him you’re not feeling well,” Candice says, flicking a brow upwards. The snow is falling heavily now, dusting her hair and coat in thick flakes, and piling up on the hat on top of my head.
“Sure, honey, I’ll be sick tomorrow night if that’s what you want.”
“Good,” she says. “We can meet in the barn office. I’ll text you when Beau leaves.”
“Why can’t we just meet in your room?” I ask. I’m realizing that I’ll take whatever I can get from Candice, but the barn office doesn’t sound too appealing.
“I have no idea when Beau will be back. The office is safer.”
I can tell, though, that it’s more than that. That she’s hesitant about letting me into her bedroom because it’s her private space.
Fine. I can deal with that. We’ll just have to get creative.
