“I did,” I say, grinning.
“You little bad ass! I’d never have the guts to do that,” she says.
“Well I only did it because the stakes with Nathan are so low. He doesn’t like me and I practically hate him.”
Winnie just raises an eyebrow at me.
“Okay,” I admit, “so I don’t hate him as much as I did before he came to Star Mountain. But I’m still suspicious of his type.”
“I know, I know. Cowboys only stick around for a good time, not a long time.”
“Exactly!” I say. “I’m sure that as soon as his community service is complete, he’ll be hightailing it out of Star Mountain, leaving me in the dust. I can’t get attached to him so he’s theperfectperson to practice with.”
“You have a point,” Winnie says. “But be careful anyways, Candice. I worry about you.”
“And I worry about you.” This time I’m the one raising a brow at her.
“Fair enough,” she says, sighing a bit. “But still. I don’t want you to get hurt, especially when I’m not there to threaten him.”
“There’s no way Nathan could hurt me, Win, so don’t worry.”
“How’s that?”
“I don’t have any feelings for him and I never will,” I say, shrugging.
But the words don’t feel completely honest, especially because Nathan hurt me once before, the first time we met. And if he’d said no to my offer earlier? Well, I doubt I would have rolled with the punches.
I better keep my guard up around him is all I know.
18
NATHAN
It’s really damnhard to look your best friend in the eyes across the dinner table when you’ve just agreed to teach his little sister how to have good sex. Thankfully, I’ve had a lot of experience being a playboy, a rake, and, as Candice would call me, a cowboy Casanova. So I do a pretty good job of looking straight at Beau without twitching,
It’s Candice that I can’t bear to look at. I’m too afraid of what I’ll find on her face if I do: regret. So I try to eat my dinner with the Wilsons quickly and spend my time either joking around with Tomás or asking Beau questions about his job. Jenny and Lila are here, too, so there’s plenty going on around me that I can hide in. Across the table, I catch Jenny trying to convince Lila to eat her greens.
“Sweetheart, they’re good, I promise,” she says.
“Don’t listen to her Lila!” Tomás says. “Greens are the worst, and you should avoid eating them for as long as possible.”
Jenny shoots him a withering glare and tries to convince Lila to eat them once again.
The kid turns to Beau on her other side and says, “What do you think about greens, Uncle Beau?”
I watch as my stoic best friend practically melts into the table.
“I think greens are great,” Beau says, taking a forkful of his own wilted kale and eating it with a smile.
“Fine,” Lila says. “I’ll eat it because I want to be more like Uncle Beau.” She accepts the next mouthful of greens Jenny gives her, though she pulls a disgusted face as she does.
“You’ve got a firecracker, Jenny,” I say.
“I know, don’t remind me,” Jenny responds. “I want her to stay three years old forever. She’s small enough that I can still carry her under one arm if I need to.”
Lila gets up and starts running for the living room. Candice leaps up from her chair at the other end of the table and runs after the toddler. The movement forces me to look at her, to take her all in. She scoops Lila up before the kid can reach the fireplace, which the Wilsons have roaring at full blast tonight as it’s freezing cold. The first snow will be coming soon, probably tonight or tomorrow. Candice is holding Lila up in the air and spinning her around. Lila is kicking and laughing in joy and Candice is laughing too, the smile on her face brighter than I’ve ever seen it. The sight of Candice holding a child and looking so joyful does something funny to my chest—it almost feels like my heart is flipping over.
“I’m gonna head back,” I mutter to no one in particular. If I stay much longer I won’t be able to look away from Candice at all, and everyone will see the hunger that I’m sure is written all over my face. Even though I had a piece of her today, I can’t stop myself from wantingmore.
