Page 63 of Gold Rush
Freezing, I cringe and glance back at him. Arin tosses the towel he was using on his hair to the side, then levels me with a look.
“You clearly came to find me for a reason.”
I turn, pressing back against the door. “I — well.”
He takes a deep breath, like he’s prepping himself for what I’m about to say, only his shoulders tighten with the movement,his eyes narrowing as his nostrils flare, his eyes locking on me as he growls. “You didn’t go straight to bed last night.”
Oh God. I’m mortified as I press back against his door, feeling like a rabbit cornered by a fox. I’m in Seth’s shirt, I probably smell like both him and Bennett, and Arinknows.Fucking alphas and their stupid strength and their stupid noses and their stupid biology that makesmewant to please him.
I suck in a breath as I stare at him, my eyes narrowing slightly. Why shouldhecare? He’s the one who sent me upstairs to go to bed without a second glance. He started it, and when he couldn’t finish it, I went to two people who could.
“I spent the night with Seth and Bennett.” I blurt the words out, a confusion of emotions rearing up in me — anger, indignation — Arin didn’t satisfy me fully, why should I hide the fact I spent the rest of my night with them? Bennett’s words echo in my mind — he encouraged me to find my footing with all of them individually — if Arin isn’t okay with that, I don’t need the stupid, hot alpha in front of me.
I take a step forward. “What, does that bother you?”
He stares at me cooly. “It only bothers me if you feel like it wasn’t your choice.”
“Itwasmy choice.” I spit at him. “At least they care. At least theyhelped.”
“And you believe I don’t care.” He stays firmly on the other side of the room, volleying the words at me like a javelin.
“I don’t know! Do you?”
“I just don’t want your decisions to be based on the proximity of your heat?—”
“So you regret last night?”
“Not at all, but we have to think before we do things.” Arin’s voice softens, near pleading. “I never should have crossed a physical line with you withouttalkingfirst. I can’t takeadvantageof the power imbalance here —”
“Oh my god!” I stomp my foot, glaring at him. “You were not taking advantage of me! I begged you!”
“Still —”
“No!” I jab a finger in his direction, fury overtaking rationality. “Because that makes me think that you believe I don’t know what I want, and that makes me feel like a total fucking idiot. If I stand here and ask you to fuck me, will you? Will you say no because it’s too close to the heat and I can’t properly consent to it? Because I sure as shit did when Seth was in me last night and Bennett was down my throat.”
He snarls, stepping forward. His voice is a sharp warning. “Juniper.”
I glare at him, my lips pulling back in my own little growl. “No. Don’t youdare‘Juniper’ me. I came in here because I came to tell you the heat is imminent. At least I think it is. But if you want me to leave —”
“No.” He barks the word at me. “Donotleave.”
“Is that anorder?”
He scowls back at me, something breaking in his expression as his hands fist at his sides. “Do not seek me out just to pick silly fights with me.”
“Maybe I want to pick one.” I step closer to him, emboldened now.
He doesn’t want me to leave? Fine.
“Maybe I’d like you to act like youwantme here, instead of taking everything slow one moment and fingering me in a fucking restaurant the next, promising me you’llplaywith me.” I stride closer. “We don’t havetimefor slow — I’m not some barely legal omega who’s suddenly hot for the nearest alpha. I’m a grown-ass woman who knows in a few days time I won’t have any sense and I want to make sure I’msafeand that —” My voice breaks, my emotions swinging a hard left as reality crashes down on me. “— that I won’t feel hurt or used.”
My eyes burn as I turn my chin away from him, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.
Arin steps closer, his voice softer. “June…”
I close my eyes, pressing my thumbs against them to ward off burning tears. Admitting the same thing to him that I did to Bennett last night feels like I’m carving my heart out with a rusty knife. “I’m scared.”
He sighs as I look back at him, watching his shoulders fall.
